Hit Me Baby, One More Time…And This Time Put Some Stank On It

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britney.jpgHot off the heels of her interview with Matt Lauer earlier this month…where she said the paparazzi have made her feel like a target…a pregnant Britney Spears, 25, has decided to go ahead and strap herself to the dart board by posing nude for the cover of Harper’s Bazaar.

Criminy.

Let’s forget the fact that this isn’t even an original idea…remember Demi Moore’s infamous Vanity Fair cover? (See image below.)

And let’s forget the fact that Brit-Brit has recently been catching a crapload of flack for her less-than-model mothering techniques (i.e. letting her 9-month-old baby, Sean Preston, ride in her lap while she drove on the freeway). moore.jpg

And let’s also forget the fact that Britney regularly goes out in the most public of places (7-Eleven and other stop-and-goes) all the time…never caring about her appearance, who sees her, or what people think of her actions (she’s been spotted more than once going into a public restroom…barefooteww).

And let’s forget that she married a man, Kevin Federline, whose biggest talent so far has been to sire children…with Britney (who is 6 months pregnant with their second child) and with his previous girlfriend, Shar Jackson, whom he left to marry Britney while Shar was preggers with one of his kids.

Instead let’s focus on Britney breaking down in tears while talking with Matt Lauer two weeks ago, saying she wanted the privacy and respect due her as a human being. (A ruse…I might add…that I actually fell for and that softened my heart toward her…thumps self for being so gullible.)

“You have babies at home. And…you have a life. And if you don’t, you have to realize that we’re people and that we … just need privacy and we need our respect. And those are things that you have to have as a human being.”
–Britney Spears, speaking to Matt Lauer on Dateline NBC

Here’s some free advice Brit, the best way to earn respect…and, yes, you must earn this, honey…is to not pose nude for the cover of a national magazine while you’re pregnant. Even if you cross your legs to hide your ho-ho or wrap your hands strategically across your ta-tas…you’re still using the unborn baby growing in your belly to gain noteriety, as well as to sell magazines, your image, and yourself.

And your right to privacy? That pretty much goes out the window for anyone who sets foot outside their front door…let alone anyone who agrees to have their bare ass stare at the general public from every newstand in America.

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20 Responses to “Hit Me Baby, One More Time…And This Time Put Some Stank On It”

  1. nolagirl Says:

    I think they may have burned out their Photoshop on this one. After seeing her in the Matt Lauer interview, are they kidding that I am supposed to believe she actually looks that OK *naked* much less with clothes on?! Give me a friggin break.

    I felt no such sympathy for her during the Lauer interview. Perhaps because she is from LA and I despise that she adds to the already bad reputation we have … or maybe just because I think she is so beyond help, that I didn’t want to waste my energy.

    Ewww, just ewww. She is a joke. And a skanky joke at that.

  2. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I did feel some sympathy for her during the interview…however, if she really cared about keeping her privacy, she could always move to Idaho. Towards the end of the interview she told Matt that she wouldn’t give up her fame/money to have her privacy back…so, after that, I quit caring. I just feel awful for her sweet little babies-poor things have to have Britney and Kevin as parents.

    And thanks Brit for making Southeners look like idiots. Preeshiate you.

    Oh, and what about the gum chewing during the interview. Sick.

  3. PeggyisAmused Says:

    When I did my nude cover for Cracked, they had a record sales low. :(((

  4. TALK! Says:

    The most cringe-inducing parts of the interview were her air “quote” marks…probably my “biggest” pet peeve “ever!”

    ———

    Oh, and Peg, since I’m the only one who bought that issue…will you sign my Cracked?

  5. FLJerseyBoy Says:

    Actually, I had kinda the same reaction to Vanity Fair’s Jennifer Aniston cover and interview a while back. Paraphrasing, it went something like “I’m feeling so vulnerable right now and it hurts so bad… Here, look, maybe these shots of me in my diaphanous clothing will make the feeling go away!”

    Erm.

  6. TALK! Says:

    FLJerseyBoy…I agree.

    I don’t like nude photos of celebrities, generally…but I’m not opposed to capturing the human form in an artistic manner…a manner that respects both the subject and the message of the piece of artwork.

    However, when I see photos like the one on the cover of Harper’s Bazaar…and the ones featuring Ms. Anniston…I have to question not only the message of that celebrity…but also that celebrity’s…shakes head in disappointment…integrity.

  7. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I guess I don’t often question the integrity of most celebrities. It’s kind of like how I don’t look to them for their opinion on politics. I just don’t care enough.

    There are those “once in awhile” folks (like Taylor) that I feel are “different” so I might hold them to a higher standard. Luckily for them, I usually turn a blind eye to the faults of those I love.

    BTW-If I looked like Jen Anniston naked. I might never be clothed. 😉

  8. TALK! Says:

    bamaborntxbred…great point and you’re right. I really should reevaluate my thoughts on the integrity of someone whose opinion I don’t value otherwise.

    However, truth be told…although I don’t give a rip about Britney, I have always cared about Jennifer Aniston. I think it’s because I have admired her as a comedianne and as someone close to my age who is both talented and beautiful! 😉 It’s probably unfair but because I would LOVE to emulate Aniston…her looks and her ability to make people laugh. I guess I just want every facet of her to be something that I’d want to emulate.

    Oh…also…you’re right. If I looked like Jen…it would be scant clothing and flowing hair all the time! 😉

  9. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I guess Jen might actually fall into my “folks I love so much they could walk naked through the streets of downtown Dallas, gee that’s great” category.

    Britney- she falls into my “dear God it’s a train wreck I should be looking away but I just can’t…I must see what awful thing happens next” category.

    I’m a horrible, shallow person.

  10. TALK! Says:

    Funny thing is, after I wrote up this post this morning, I actually felt guilty because it seemed like such an easy target.

    But I decided to stick with it…’cause I’m horribly shallow, too. Ha!

  11. bamaborntxbred Says:

    It’s your blog and you can say whateva you wanna! You’re in my first category, so it’s all good with me!!

    P.S. Off topic- did you see the new neighborhoodie designs?

  12. TALK! Says:

    Hey, you’re right, again…I’m so used to posting on someone else’s site that I forgot…this MY WORLD! 😉

    I saw the Neighborhoodie designs…they’re funny…but not really something I’d wear. (I’m a bit of prude…shocker, huh?)

  13. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Yeah, totally funny…but only to us, the “special people”. I don’t think anyone else would get the humor, and we’d just be walkin’ around offending people. Besides, I’ve already spent too much money on t-shirts.

    It is YOUR WORLD…can’t wait to see what we get to read about tomorrow!

  14. nolagirl Says:

    bamaborntxbred .. when you said you felt sorry for Brit’s babies, are you sure you didn’t mean her “boo-boos”? *rolls eyes* I think that trumped the air quotes for me in the level of annoyance!

  15. TALK! Says:

    I know, NOLA…what a great name to call your children…boo-boo…doesn’t that mean accident?

  16. Quossum Says:

    I am afraid. Very afraid.

    But I wish the photoshopper who helped out Brit could have done something about that heave-worthy picture of David Hasselhoff with puppies nestled in his crotch. =P

    –Q

  17. suzi-q Says:

    You all had me laughing so hard with the comments. Peg you better watch “Talk” for she’ll pull a number on that signed Cracked mag and sell it at a garage sale:) Also besides laughing my head off I came to the conclusion that the magazine with BritBrit has a misnomer in its title, it should read “Harper’s Bizarre”!!! 🙂 What do you think?

  18. TALK! Says:

    bamaborntxbred & NOLAgirl…newsflash…I think Brit read y’all’s comments…apparently, she’s moving back home to Louisiana.

  19. NOLAgirl Says:

    “Spears is spending $200,000 on Lynne Spears’ house and is also looking to buy a second abode so that hubby Kevin Federline can stay there if his mother-in-law gets on his nerves. “He likes Lynne but doesn’t like her getting involved in their relationship,” a source told the mag.”

    Umm, yeah, that is *never* a good sign. Makes me wonder about her adamant promising that K-Fed wasn’t sleeping in the basement of their home, which was the rumor.

    “What’s more, Spears has reportedly met with an OB-GYN in neighboring Baton Rouge to discuss having a C-section there when her second baby arrives in September”

    Poor OB-GYN. 😦

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