Flowers Would Have Sufficed…Though Alligator Wrestling Is a Nice Gesture

by

Last week a South Carolina man jumped into a body of water to save his girlfriend’s dog from the jaws of a 10-foot alligator.

The dog, Chance, was swimming in the water when Jessica Turner saw the full-grown gator grab the pup and start to drag him away. That’s when boyfriend Brent Carey sprang into action…diving into the water and grabbing the gator’s back legs, causing it to release Chance.

But even after releasing the dog, the alligator kept fighting and rolled Carey before submersing below the surface…allowing Carey to grab Chance’s collar and pull the dog to shore, as the gator resurfaced and swam after them.

Turner, Carey, and Chance made it through the ordeal with only minor injuries to both Carey and Chance. The gator wasn’t as lucky, as the Department of Natural Resources shot and killed the gator shortly after the incident.

Okay…is it just me…or is the hottest thing EVAR?

Where do I find my very own Brent Carey? WHERE?

It’s not like he saved the girl…or a kid…both of which would have been expected. The guy jumped on top of a 10-foot gator to save his chick’s dog, folks! Cripes…that’s hawt.

Seriously, if Turner doesn’t spend the rest of her life massaging this guy’s feet and fetching him beers…she’s nuts.

As a matter of fact…as someone who is currently without boyfriend…I’m a little critical of women who don’t appreciate their men. I take that back…I’m a lot critical.

I’m so happy for all the newlyweds in Hollywood this week…Nicole Kidman, Marcia Cross, Patricia Arquette and the chick who has snagged cutie-pie NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon as her fiancé.

But I get frustrated when I read that a couple…a couple who hasn’t even been together the amount of time it takes for the average person to earn a bachelor’s degree…has called it quits.

After three years of marriage, Nick Lachey, 32, and Jessica Simpson, 25, have officially cut the ties that bind…as their divorce was finalized today.

I don’t know if Lachey ever wrestled a gator to save Simpson’s beloved Louis Vitton bag…but surely he wasn’t that bad of a catch.

But bad or good, Simpson decided in November of last year to part ways with Lachey and, on Dec. 16, filed divorce papers.

And the two almost immediately began the hunt for love anew.

“A guy with a great imagination sends me through the rafters. … I love it!”
–Jessica Simpson, said recently to Maxim magazine on seeking out a new relationship

People magazine reports that, since the split, Simpson has been seen flirting publicly with actor Jared Leto, and Lachey, is allegedly romancing either Vanessa Minnillo and/or stylist Kim Kardashian.

I wish Simpson luck in her search…she sounds devastated from the loss of her marriage…I think she could really use the pick-me-up.

As for me…I guess I don’t need a guy with that much imagination…he doesn’t even have to wrestle an alligator for me or my dog (well, okay for my dog)…but I would love it if he could sing.

Mmmmm…maybe I should give Nick a call.

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9 Responses to “Flowers Would Have Sufficed…Though Alligator Wrestling Is a Nice Gesture”

  1. Quossum Says:

    Just playing devil’s advocate here…

    I love my dogs, and I love my man. If my dog was in trouble and my man could save her, I would be all, “Jump in, honey! Foot massages to follow!”

    But if rescusing Pixie would cause him to risk his own life…I dunno how I’d feel about that. Great, if he survived. But would I ever, ever, *ever* forgive myself if he died? (I assume that I’m rational enough to not blame him if Pixie were in life-risking type of trouble and he didn’t risk his life to save her.)

    Like this guy:
    http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/hotsprng.htm

    Food for thought!

    –Q

  2. TALK! Says:

    Okay, I love my dog more than I ever thought I could love an animal. She is so precious to me…but in the situation above…I don’t know if I’d be asking anyone to jump in with an alligator to save her. It breaks my heart to say this because I love Sadie (my pooch) so very much). But a human life in exchange for an animal’s? I can’t see it.

    Now that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t be beating that gator with whatever I found or reaching for Sadie in some way or yelling for gun to shoot the gator or whatever else I could do to save my dog.

    ———-

    Yikes…I didn’t mean for this to be so heavy a topic. I actually was just turned on my a guy willing to wrassle a gator to save this little pooch.

    Actually, what really killed me about the story is how the girlfriend didn’t gush over her wonderful man. I would’ve been like “Oh, yeah…my man? Yeah, he just wrestled a 10-foot gator…he rawks!”

    In the linked news story, the girlfriend’s casual nature about the whole event irritated me.

  3. suzi-q Says:

    Think about it y’all, “Crocodile Dundee”, “Jewel of the Nile”, “Don’t Tell Her It’s Me” all have similar themes, dangerous man in dangerous situations presenting the HERO:) (Of course the gas station scene in DTHIM is the most acurate and funny of all) but I have a hero that though didn’t do something in an instant did do the most heroic thing of all, built a home for me and mine in a little under five years, now that is courage (plus he is Irish and Scot so refused to pay for anything he could do himself) That’s heroics fer sure!

  4. Jude Says:

    I really enjoy reading your thoughts and insights – you rock, girl. The touch of cynicism without being a hard core cynic hits the right note. Do you write for a living or is it mostly a creative outlet? Just curious whether the talent is learned or inherent.

  5. TALK! Says:

    Hey Jude,

    Thanks for posting…and for the kind words.

    I actually write and edit for a living…but like most 9-to-5 jobs in Corporate America…the subject matter is usually pretty dry and less than creative. That’s why I’ve enjoyed blogging so much recently (here and on other sites)..it’s a great outlet for my more snarky side. 😉

    Glad you’re enjoying…hope to see you post again.

  6. Banda Says:

    SHELLY! Banda here, saying howdy to her girl. You give the South a good name. 🙂

  7. Staci Says:

    Shell,
    Missing you today, girl! I’d wrassle a Gator for Dawg, anyday (sorry slipping into SEC football mode there for a mo).

    have a safe 4th.
    S

  8. bamabborntxbred Says:

    Gone for a 5 day weekend and I missed all kinds of good stuff!

    Listen-I think the dude that saved the dog is truly my soul mate. I would’ve been out there in the water with him. I brake for squirrels.

    Jessica Simpson is a fool! FOOL I SAY! Nick gave an interview recently and said he would give up all of his fame and fortune to have his marriage back…He thinks “Newlyweds” affected the marriage negatively…it also had everything to do w/her career take-off. He just seems so sweet. He was there every night for his bro during the dancing show. What a family man! Awwww…poor lil Nick.

  9. TALK! Says:

    I know what ya mean, bamaborntxbred…Jess is a total ninny.

    Oh…and I totally understand your love for animals…I brake for gnats.

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