Learning to Let Go



Whenever I’m feeling especially impish…I like to laugh and share with my mother the plans I have for my body once I’m gone.

I’ve always said that I want to donate all that I can to the Living Bank and then have my body cremated so that I can be buried in the hip pocket of a size 6 pair of jeans.

I think it’s a riot.

Mom is never amused.

So, in honor of Mom, I had to share this gem of a product I found today online…Huggable Urns.

Just what is a Huggable Urn? Well, let me tell you.

A Huggable Urn is a plush keepsake pillow or toy that is filled with the remains of a deceased loved one…designed for “maintaining the loving connections between the living and their loved ones who moved on.”

From teddy bears with wings to kitty cats with ribbons to pillows with lace…there are several products from which to chose a final resting place for your dearly departed.

“Our society really doesn’t deal well with the whole dying process and it can make it very hard for people who are grieving, when they are forcibly separated from the remains of their loved one. When my own father died, his ashes were put into a plastic urn which was stored in my mothers closet. All I wanted to do was hold him again, but the urn was hard and impersonal.”
–Alexandra Lachini, founder of Huggable Urns

Now, I know folks grieve in their own ways.

And I know that people are often heartbroken over the loss of a loved one.

And I know that letting go is very difficult…but…aren’t grief and heartbreak and release all necessary parts of life?

I’ve always found that the actual act of letting go is very cathartic and very much a part of the healing process. To me, holding on to something once it’s gone (be it a deceased loved one or an ex-boyfriend or Gray Charles.com) is an act of desperation…of hopelessness…of despair.

We can’t mitigate our losses by refusing to accept them.

And regardless of what Dalton says in “Roadhouse”…pain does hurt. And that pain is necessary in life.

For without pain…how would we know true joy?


16 Responses to “Learning to Let Go”

  1. nolagirl Says:

    Ok, that is just scary. *shudders*

  2. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Besides, it’s just kind of oogy to snuggle up to a bear filled with dead people ashes. (I hope that isn’t offensive!)

    *Is it unhealthy that I kind of pretend that people I’ve lost are alive, at home, and I just haven’t talked to them in awhile??

    *Is it unhealthy that I truly believe Princess Diana is alive and well and living in obscurity (with Elvis)??

  3. TALK! Says:

    bamaborntxbred…I don’t know what I love about you more…the fact that you used the word “oogy” (flash to Kathy Bates in “Misery,” my all-time favorite movie) or that you recognized that I’m alive and living with Elvis?


    nolagirl…don’t lie…you know you want your very own ashy teddy bear to hug and sqeeze on while your boyfriend is out of town. Hey…maybe you could fill a bear with your man’s dead skin cells…now wouldn’t THAT be romantic.

    Um…I’m even making myself queasy today.

  4. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ewww…now THAT is gross! Skin cells are nasty (yeah, that’s a healthy attitude).

    Princess D! I knew it! In my heart I just knew you were alive…Like, on my favorite soap…when my favorite character came back from the dead five different times…So cool. Hey, can I have Harry’s phone number? I know I’m a little old for him, but you could put in a good word riiiight?

  5. nolagirl Says:

    Ewww, Shelley that is repulsive! Makes me want to not touch the boyfriend with a 10-foot pole. (awww, that would make for one sad clown. Way to go Shelley, jeez!!) šŸ˜€

  6. TALK! Says:

    Dahling bamaborntxbred…Harry’s phone number is 555-555-STUD. Tell him mummy said hello.


    nolagirl…sorry to be so repulsive…but you know I can’t help it…seeing how I have three younger brothers. right?

    brothers (younger or older) are a bad influence. šŸ™‚

  7. nolagirl Says:

    You are right. I blame my moments of vulgarity and/or crudeness soley on them. šŸ™‚

  8. TALK! Says:

    Brothers are GREAT for placing blame.

    Why I’m fat…because in my house…if you didn’t fill your plate on the first go around…my brothers would eat everything and you might not get enough to eat…so I always overcompensated.

    Why I’m not married…my brothers never introduced me to their older friends.

    Why I’m broke…I always buy gifts and cards for parents at Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries and sign my brothers’ names…they never pay me back.

    I could go on…and on…and on.

    I recommend blame placing as therapy. It’s a release, really.

  9. suzi-q Says:

    Funniest true story in the world. . . friend of mine never liked the idea of cremation but her dear friend not only wanted it but asked would she please disperse the ashes out in the sound off MS coast. She agreed, friend passed away,she made her way to the sound on a little boat and at the very time she went to disperse the ashes a huge wind blew up and whoosh, all the ashes ended up all over the friend of the dearly departed. No lie:(

  10. TALK! Says:

    suzi-q…that would have never been a problem with the Huggable Urn…or if they had just agreed to be buried in the hip pocket of a size 6 pair of jeans! Ha!

    Um…loved the story.

    Moral…always cast downwind. šŸ˜‰

  11. NOLAgirl Says:

    Oh Shelley, you have NO idea how much I am shaking my head at all of your brother things. Mine are improving though – I have actually gotten paid back from all THREE of them from the Mother’s Day present I bought. Growing up? Nah, their significant others are keeping them in line. šŸ™‚

  12. double d Says:

    You are so right, Shel. Death is a natural part of life. If you have faith in heaven, then this life is just a means to that end. However, doesn’t mean we have to rush through it.

    My husband and I have prepared parents and children that we will be cremated. They now understand that our practical natures just don’t allow for the hysterics and cost of funerals and burials. We both feel that it’s more honorable to return to the dust from which we came, and it save so much wear and tear on those left behind.

    Death will have no victory over me. I will live on in the memory of my children and friends and hopefully, they have received some good from having known me.

    Now, Shelley, can you post something funny for a bit…I’m getting kinda blue…

  13. jazzy43 Says:

    About once a year or so I take down all of my kids stuffed animals from the shelf and toss them in the washing machine…Do you think Uncle Lester, in his huggable urn, needs to be washed on delicate or can he handle the permanant press cycle???

  14. jazzy43 Says:

    About once a year or so I take down all of my kids stuffed animals from the shelf and toss them in the washing machine…Do you think Uncle Lester, in his huggable urn, needs to be washed on delicate or can he handle the permanant press cycle???

  15. jazzy43 Says:

    sorry for the double post and I guess I signed up for the wrong catagory…should have stayed anonymous…;)

  16. TALK! Says:

    Jazzy…you double post all you want to, baby! I’m so happy you’re here.

    And by the way…I think you can just send Uncle Lester to the dry cleaners. šŸ˜‰

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