Paris Declares Herself an Icon…And I’m the Queen of Sheba

by

May I have your attention, please? Ahem! I have a very important announcement to make.Listen to me, dammit!

I, Shelley Powers, am the greatest thing since Chewy Sprees. My ass, while being beautiful and perfect, shoots rose petals on the rare occasion that I fart. No one before or after me can compare to my undeniably phenomenal presence…and if they can…I’ll deny it…and make them eat poop.

Think it’s possible for another human being to be even more conceited than that?

How about this week’s humdinger of a quote from Paris Hilton to the Times of London

“There’s nobody in the world like me…I think every decade has an iconic blonde — like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana — and right now, I’m that icon.”

Such powerful words…such belief in self…such total crap.

Whether Paris is playing the part of diva extraordinaire or the part of ditzy debutante…she has to be kidding…or completely deluded.

I can think of a ton of blondes (natural and dyed) who could fill the role of icon so much more believably than Miss Hilton.

Diane Sawyer – journalist extraodinaire

Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicole Kidman, and Reese Witherspoon
– legitimate actresses who have prospered because of their talent, not because of their inheritance

Kylie Minogue and Sheryl Crow
– cancer survivors who continue their work despite devastation in their personal lives

I’ll even consider Christina Aguilera for icon status as she continually reinvents herself..while remaining a fantastic chanteuse.

And what about the blondes who have been around a while but who are still absolutely fabulous? Christie BrinkleyMeryl StreepLauren BacallBetty White.

And let’s not forget the blondes who have had their share of controversy but who have remained dignified and hard-working…Martha StewartEllen DeGeneres.

And before I give even the slightest consideration to Paris as an icon…I’ll first consider blondes whom I can’t stand…Katie CouricBarbara WaltersMadonna.

“There’s a lot of heiresses out there, and I don’t see any of them doing what I’ve done…I have so many projects — bags, fragrances, make-up. I go round the world every three days, designing and personally approving it all. I’ve got movies to make, a tour, TV shows. Every day of my life is scheduled until the end of 2007.”
–Paris Hilton, Times of London

So Paris sells handbags and make-up and whatever else her name is slapped on…big deal. It’s a chicken-VS.-the-egg thing.

Which came first…the fame or the success? With Paris…don’t the two exist only in symbiosis?

I don’t know what is harder to wrap my mind around…the fact that someone like Paris Hilton has achieved a level of success in pop culture where she would be so bold as to compare herself to truly iconic women…or the fact that some folks might actually believe her drivel.

Shudders at the ways of the world.

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14 Responses to “Paris Declares Herself an Icon…And I’m the Queen of Sheba”

  1. Staci Says:

    Hmm… thought provoking. And I ask, who is the current icon of choice… or do we know the icon only after she’s gone.

    Also note how many years are between Marilyn and Diana… we’re not due another icon for at least another decade, don’t you think?

    Either way, Paris ain’t it.

  2. TALK! Says:

    Great points, Staci.

    And with the time span between Diana and Marilyn…I think you’re right.

    We probably haven’t even SEEN the next blonde icon yet…as she’s in junior high. 😉

  3. nolagirl Says:

    I think Paris is confusing “icon” with “publicity whore.” Her air of self importance is laughable. She should stick to the dumb blonde party girl act – that was a LOT less annoying to me.

  4. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Oh gosh. I don’t even know where to start. First, I agree with many of your choices for “icons”…I especially think Nicole K. or Meryl Streep for the movie star slot are perfect!!

    Second, I just finished reading the entire interview this quote came from and, unbelievably, my opinion of Paris has dropped even lower.

    I can’t get over the audacity she has to declare herself an icon. To compare herself to MARILYN MONROE and PRINCESS DIANA, two of the most iconic women ever, not just blonde women.

    Paris: “”I play dumb like Jessica Simpson plays dumb. But we know exactly what we’re doing. We’re smart blondes.”” SICKENING! It makes me sick that any woman would capitalize on playing “dumb”. Why can’t a smart blonde be just as sexy???? Why choose to play a stupid person?

    After the interviewer reminds her of a time she said she was sick of the celebrity merry-go-round…Paris: ““I know,” she says, a bit sadly, “but I have to make the most of things right now. I’m stuck in the myth, baby.”” WHAT?? She just spent the whole damn interview trying to convince us that all of this is of her own making. Give me a break. Which is it?

    Paris: “God gives you good karma if you work hard and play nice.” SAD. This is actually a very sad statement and I hope she finds the truth someday.

  5. TALK! Says:

    Bama…I feel ya, sista!

    As a matter of fact…the whole last paragraph of the interview was appalling…(Paris’ remarks are in quotes…the interviewer’s are not.)

    Is it tough? “It can be. Sometimes I feel like the media uses me as a punchbag.” What did you expect? “I know, but it doesn’t stop it being lame. But I love my job, and I think I’ve earned the right to be happy now. God gives you good karma if you work hard and play nice.” You’re religious? “Yes, Catholic.” Do you keep a Bible by your bed? “No.” Just a camcorder? At this, the smart blonde flicks her hair and deadpans, “Whatever, man. At least I’ll always be remembered.”

    Please let me pull a quote from the 80s out of my hat because it is so fitting here..Gag me with a spoon.

  6. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ha! Valley Girl!

    Okay-So Paris will be remembered for a PORNOGRAPHIC tape, but hey, that’s cool with her. That’s the kind of girl I want to be an icon of the decade.

    Another sad statement in the interview made by the interviewer: To fans and haters alike, Hilton signifies the base desires of the age: money, sex and low body fat.

    My base desires are shelter, food, love and Grace….how ’bout you?

  7. TALK! Says:

    Amen!

    Well…and Taylor Hicks, of course. 😉

  8. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Oh, yeah. Well, of course. I thought I covered that with loooove.

  9. brokedownpalace Says:

    All I can say to those who reamed me out yesterday (really it was just good natured joking, but go with it for exaggeration’s sake), I stand by my statement on how absolutely TRIFLIN’ Hollywood is. In addition, Paris Hilton continually sets the TRIFLIN’ standard, and she has truly outdone herself this time. I thought it would be years ’til things got this bad, at least until Sean Preston becomes a teenager (see I am just as guilty of indulging trivial pop culture news). Thinking about Paris Hilton’s audacious comments on her own presence is the type of thing that keeps people UP at night rather than helping them sleep!

  10. TALK! Says:

    Okay brokedownpalace…don’t make me walk down the hallway! 😉

    Of COURSE Hollywood is trifling. Of COURSE Paris Hilton sets the standards for being trifling.
    Of COURSE Sean Presten already has a file at his local juvie office.

    All I’m saying is it’s fun rip on this crap…hence my blog slugline…

    “a weblog with much to say about very little” 😉

  11. brokedownpalace Says:

    i think my sarcasm is misinterpreted. mea culpa. i definitely agree that it is fun to gawk at over the top celebs. plus, it can remind us what is really important in our own lives.

    besides, we’d have to set our own “triflin’ standards” without them and that wouldn’t be fun at all….

  12. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Broke-you hit the nail on the head, at least for me, when you said: “plus, it can remind us what is really important in our own lives.” It does that on my good days.

    On my bad days, it makes me feel better about myself that other people suck. I’m just sayin’.

  13. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Did you forget Kellie Pickler? Ha! I crack myself up.

  14. TALK! Says:

    shrew, shrew, shrew…you crack me up, too.

    (And, yes, I think Pickles is even a better icon hopeful than Paris.)

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