Shut Up…Open Wide…Here I Come…I Am Your Dentist!


As most of you know, I went to the dentist on Wednesday to repair a back tooth that broke on Sunday.

The procedure went well…however my doctor, Roger Wirtz, had to file the tooth down more than expected because, apparently, I had cracked the tooth all the way around…not just on one side.

He said I am clenching my teeth at night when I sleep…no, actually what he said was, “You really clench your teeth hard, Shelley…I’m afraid your clenching is so severe you are going to crack the crown I put in.”


So, now…as if sleeping in sweats, an old blue nightshirt, and skin cream smeared all over my face isn’t sexy enough…I get to sleep with a custom-made mouth guard every night.

I want to date a professional football player…not look like one.

However, despite delivering the bad news about my clenching problem, Dr. Wirtz and his lovely assistant, Dora, were absolutely wonderful (nothing like the Steve Martin clip above from “Little Shop of Horrors“). I felt little discomfort during the procedure, and I actually thanked them for doing such a good job when I left. Plus they gave me a gold star for being such a good patient…yeah, you know you still like to be told stuff like that by your doctor…’fess up.

Since I was feeling okay after leaving the dentist, I headed back to work. But a couple of hours later, my novacaine began to wear off and I started to feel like crap. So I went home early…had a Jack & Coke…and hit the bed.

I slept for three hours but my head and jaw and gums were still killer hurting, so I ate a little tomato soup, watched “America’s Got Talent,” and headed back to bed.

However, as bad off as I was…my discomfort can’t compare with what my 15-year-old little brother, Cooper, went through on Wednesday.

While I was in the dentist chair in Jackson, Cooper was in the dentist chair in Biloxi…having NINE teeth pulled.

Yes, you read that correctly…NINE teeth.

Like me and our brother, Beau, Cooper was cursed with a small jaw (relatively speaking), large teeth, and…the worst part…too many teeth.

Pulling these extra teeth is necessary to allow the teeth in our head to align correctly. I had eight pulled when I was a kid. Beau had 13 pulled. However neither of us had all the teeth pulled in one day.

But Coop did…bless his sweet little toothy heart.

So today’s post is dedicated to my precious brother, Cooper, who, despite having all those teeth pulled…called last night to check on his big sister.

What a kid!

(I love ya, Peachy.)


17 Responses to “Shut Up…Open Wide…Here I Come…I Am Your Dentist!”

  1. NOLAgirl Says:

    Ok, luv ya Shelley, but POOR COOPER! (love that name, btw) Ouch for both of y’all!

    I love the pic of the mouthguard. It *is* pretty hideous. But …. I’m sure your old nightshirt makes up for it, right? πŸ˜‰

    P.S. I just *knew* I was going to date a football player – that was, like, totally, like my dream as, like, a teenager. πŸ™‚

  2. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Awww…I’m so sorry you had to go through that…and poor Cooper! How sweet that he would take the time to check on you. You are blessed to have such a good relationship with your family.

    P.S. I was told that I clench my teeth during the day when I’m stressed, and my dentist wanted me to wear a mouthgard DURING THE DAY. Ummm…no thanks. I’d rather deal with the blinding headaches.

    P.P.S I thought the recipe for Jack & Coke was 2oz. Coke, 10oz. Jack…hmmm…maybe that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years… πŸ˜‰

  3. TALK! Says:

    Bamaborntxbred…I like your recipe better.

    You sound like the greatest chef in the WORLD!!!

    Can I come over for dinner and drinks…hell, just for drinks?

    Oh, and I totally would side with the headaches over walking around with a mouthguard all day…yikes!


    NOLA…teenager…20-year-old stud…30-something retired player…a football player is a football player…yummy, yummy, yummy. πŸ˜‰

  4. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I AM the greatest chef in the world! How’d you guess?? I makes spaghetti, cereal, PB&J sammiches and killer drinks. You’re invited anytime!

  5. TALK! Says:

    Cereal and a Jack & Coke…breakfast of champions

  6. nolagirl Says:

    I used to have a shrine to Brett Favre I loved him so. He is still adorable. (yay for Mississippi!)

    My current fave player is Mike Alstott – he’s on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and he is delicious.

    And don’t even get me started on the crushes I had on my brothers’ teammates on the football team in high school – I was borderline stalker girl on some of these hotties (and you KNOW one of them was the QB!)

  7. TALK! Says:

    Why are all quarterbacks hot?

    Seriously…can you name an ugly one?

    I don’t think it’s possible.

  8. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ladies, control yourselves!

    I was never much for the sporty fellas…’cept, I was watchin’ the World Cup and realized that, in order to be a soccer player, it must be a prerequisite to be one hot piece of A double S. Hello Cristiano Ronaldo!!

  9. TALK! Says:

    Wowie-zowie, bama!

    Viva le Cristiano Ronaldo!

  10. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Nice, huh?

    I’m not cheating on Taylor…

  11. Quossum Says:

    Dentists. *shudder*

    Your tooth loss brings you closer to Taylor. You know his two front teeth are fake, right?



  12. TALK! Says:

    That was my plan all along…bwaahahaaaa!

  13. bamaborntxbred Says:

    His teeth are fake?? I didn’t know that! How’d that happen?

  14. TALK! Says:

    Wasn’t it a basketball accident or something?

  15. Quossum Says:

    Saw it in the People write-up, the first one, not the Hottest Bachelor issue.

    Yes, he had a basketball mishap. We already knew the boy plays hard. =)


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