Look, Mom…No Git Tooth


Today was the day I was crowned.

For those of you following my dental woes (which began a couple of weeks before my trip to Birmingham with a broken back tooth…damn those whole grain breads), I went to the dentist today to finally get my permanant crown.

For weeks I’ve been walking around with my temporary “git tooth” crown…certain everyone could see it.

I’m still not convinced that Taylor Hicks didn’t see it at the WorkPlay. I mean why else did he not leap off the stage and scoop me into his arms and say, “Dammit, baby, who needs a tall blonde when I can have a blue-eyed Rubenesque coppery-haired beauty like you?!”

As for the experience of getting the new tooth today…well…it was unusual.

Dr. Roger Wirtz numbed me up pretty good (from my left nostril to my jaw) and fitted the crown, saying stuff to me and his dental assistant, Dora, like, “Yeah…that’s pretty. Nice. Whoa, would you look at that fit? Oh, yeah.”

I wanted to ask him if Dora and I should leave the room and let him have some alone time with my sexy little crown…but since I had a big fat suction tube jammed in my mouth…I decided to not say anything.

When Dr. Wirtz made me clamp down to test the fit (which also impressed him greatly), I became a little hesitant. It felt (and still feels) like I’m hitting the new tooth before all of the others…like it’s some giant stalactite hanging from my upper row of teeth. I pointed this out, but he seemed convinced it fit fine and said I would get used to it.

I hope he’s right.

But when I sat down to eat some chicken and veggies tonight…I began chewing and bit down so hard on my cave tooth that it felt like someone had banged my head with a gong. I guess I’m overcompensating for when my short little temporary tooth was there.

So, I’ll work on learning how to chew again (for the third time in a month).

Afterall, I want to be ready for the steak dinner I’m sure Mr. Hicks will treat me to when he finally gets to see my pretty new smile…a smile which apparently features one very hot…very sexy…dental crown.

Oh, yeah!


34 Responses to “Look, Mom…No Git Tooth”

  1. Holeigh Says:

    Yay, looking good, Shell! Such a pretty white smile…I’m expecting a full recap of the phone call I’m sure you’re going to be receiving from one Taylor Ruben Hicks in the next couple days. 🙂

  2. TALK! Says:

    You got it!

    I’m sure he’ll be calling any minute now.

    I think I’d better up my minutes with Cingular…’cause I know we’ll talk for hours and hours about just how friggin’ beautiful my smile is.



  3. shrewspeaks Says:


    Verification word of the day is “dwbme” which is not a word but the name of a little dental insurance agency specializing in “git” teeth

  4. TALK! Says:

    Shrew…can I please get the number to Dwbme Insurance? 😉


  5. nolagirl Says:

    Git tooth stories – woooooo! Good luck with that chewing thing! 😉

  6. TALK! Says:

    NOLA…I knew you’d like this post.

    I never think of a git tooth without thinking of my dear NOLAgirl. 😉

    P.S. The chewing thing is weird…eating my pumpkin oat flax seed cereal this morning with my new cave tooth had me feeling like Bessie out in the pasture. I couldn’t chew up and down…it was more of a grinding on my cud. Moooo!

  7. nolagirl Says:

    Pumpkin oat flax seed cereal?

    Where’s one of those barfing emoticons when you need one??? 🙂

  8. TALK! Says:

    You have no idea what you’re talking about, chica.

    That cereal RULZ!!!

    Nature’s Path Pumpkin Seed, Oat, Flax Seed Cereal…is da BOMB!

  9. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Yum, birdseed for brekkers.

    Hers is soo pretty! Your tooth doesn’t look abnormally long, so that’s a plus. I hope it starts feeling normal soon.

    I’m terrified of dentists. I think yours would have intensified that feeling by about 100x. Ooogy, ooogy, ooogy!

  10. TALK! Says:

    Bama…you’d like this dentist.

    He’s young…but with gray hair!

    And he’s very cute…not to mention…very gentle.

    I hardly felt it when he shoved that needle in my gum!

  11. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I’m not so terrified of pain. I don’t like people being that close to my face, or in my “personal space”. It freaks me out.

    However, if he’s cute…young w/gray hair…and gentle, I might change my tune. (Does this dentist happen to sing while he’s drilling you?)

  12. TALK! Says:

    You’re not going to believe this…but he does.

    He hums to whatever is playing on the radio…I swear on my life!

    I didn’t think about that until now. Weird.

  13. nolagirl Says:

    Ooh, I like the sound of your dentist! So … did you hum along too??? LOL

    And you know, that cereal actually sounds pretty good after reading the ingredients. The brand name made me laugh though. 🙂

  14. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Are you sure your dentist’s name isn’t Taylor Hicks? That sounds mighty suspicious to me…

  15. TALK! Says:

    His name is Tyler Hacks. 😉

  16. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Heeheesnort! Hahahee!

    Wonder if my he’s on my insurance…

  17. TALK! Says:

    He’s worth paying out of pocket! 😉

    By the way…I don’t like people in my personal space either…unless they are gray-haired hotties.

  18. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Yeah. Gray-haired hotties get a pass on the personal space for sure.

    Okay, so three gray-haired hotties allowed: Taylor (obviously), Anderson Cooper, and George Clooney.

  19. TALK! Says:

    Good choices, Bama…especially on Taylor and Clooney.

    You know…Anderson is cute…but not really my type.

  20. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Well, that’s why he’s third on the list. At least we won’t have to fight over him. ‘Cause, we might over the other two.

  21. TALK! Says:

    Hey, I got an idea…you take Anderson and I’ll take both Taylor and George.

    What d’ya think?

    Sounds extremely fair to me.

  22. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ummm…not so much. How ’bout I take all three, and you take Ace.

  23. TALK! Says:


    Me want my very own Monkbot.

    You can have Clooney, Cooper AND Ace…I’ll just take Taylor.

  24. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Oh, wait. We both get Monkbots. Remember my duplification process? Duh. I totally forgot. Seems someone didn’t take their genius pill this morning!
    So, as back-up, for when the Monkbots are getting “charged-up”, you can have Clooney and I’ll take Cooper and we can throw Ace to the hungry masses. Let them eat Ace!

  25. TALK! Says:

    Perfect Marie Bamatoinette!

    Yeah…I think I forgot my genius pills this a.m. because I was focusing too hard on chewing my pumpkin seed cereal.

  26. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Maybe if you took your genius pill first, you woulda known to put the cereal in the blender with a Budweiser. Then you coulda just drank the bfast of champions.

  27. TALK! Says:

    It must be nice to not have to take genius pills.

    Genius Pills with Budweiser/Cereal Chaser = You. Are. Brilliant.

    Do you think Taylor eats beer and cereal? I’m gonna go ahead and guess…yeah, pretty much.

  28. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Oh, fer sure. Totally. I’m guessing he drinks beer with almost everything….or sweet tea. Oooh, I’m hungry. Whadya eat at Dreamland btw? Curious to know if you had greens…which I love in any way, shape or form they come!

  29. TALK! Says:

    I had pulled pork sammie, tater salad (okay), and some kick ass pork ‘n’ beans.

    I didn’t have greens (I don’t even remember if they were on the menu)…I’m a 7th generation Mississippian and, still, I hurl at the smell of greens. My dad calls me some kind of carpetbagger…he’s ashamed of me for not eatin’ greens.

    Sorry…they stink to me. Taylor can have my serving…which should make us both happy. More for him…and none for me!

  30. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ah-hah! I’ve found your kryptonite! Mustard greens, turnip greens, collard greens…you name ’em, I love ’em. I eat ’em annnnd I can cook ’em real good.

    Pulled pork sammie and beans….yummy. I’m sooo hungry.

  31. TALK! Says:

    I know…Taylor and I will never be. ;(

    Gack at the thought of all those greens. I swear they smell like fart to me.

  32. bamaborntxbred Says:

    You don’t like fart smell? Weird. You are one strange woman. 🙂

  33. patrickkadiddlehopper Says:

    hey shell, who needs a git tooth when you’ve got no teeth at all (refering to myself)! Taylor will love you just the way you are babe!

  34. TALK! Says:

    Awwww…thanks, patrickkadiddlehopper.

    You can be so sweet when you want. 😉

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