Lots Happenin’ Today…John & Jessica, Sittin’ in a Tree



Look…I have nothing against Jessica Simpson…seriously.

Believe it or not…I think she actually can sing. Okay…so maybe I don’t like her songs and think she’s more of a studio creation rather than a true artist…but I don’t dislike her.

What I do dislike is her affect on men…or rather the affect all women like Jessica Simpson have on men…even seemingly intelligent, sensitive, and creative men.

People is reporting that Jess is now dating the incomparable John Mayer. (She was formerly reported to have been dating Dane Cook…who is more of a “blonde” guy but who still ranks above her in intellect…IMO.)

I think John Mayer is one of the most talented young musicians out there today. He writes, plays an instrument, and sings like a sexy little dream. When he first came on to the scene, I likened him to a budding James Taylor (probably my all-time favorite solo artist…Taylor Hicks notwithstanding). John has that JT (original JT, that is) quality of being sexy but in an understated way…plus his mouth is magnificent in how it produces vowell sounds when singing (something I find very sexy…again…please include Hicks in this pack).

Because I had put John on the pedastal of being a true artist…I guess I was a little surprised to learn that he’s reportedly dating Simpson.

I mean, she’s gorgeous…you’ll get no arguement from me there. But does she have the substance that an artist needs to be fulfilled as a person?

Or, John, does substance matter if you can have a girl who’s body is more than a wonderland…it’s a friggin’ amusement park ride with big boobs and blonde hair? (I could ask this same question to our dear Mr. Hicks as easily as posing it to Mr. Mayer.)

JT at least married Carly Simon…an unusual beauty with a voice and talent that matched his…although now he’s married (I think) to a blonde back-up singer.

I guess what I’m getting at is…I can accept a Simpson-esque girl with a boy band guy like Nick Lachey. But when it comes to guys who are true artists or who seemingly have true depth…why should the flaxen chicks with happy ta-tas STILL HAVE ALL THE LUCK?

Crosses arms and pouts…then toys with the idea of bleaching hair and stuffing bra.


20 Responses to “Lots Happenin’ Today…John & Jessica, Sittin’ in a Tree”

  1. bamaborntxbred Says:

    You know, I thought I was pissed when I heard she was dating Jared Leto (my current fave eyeliner wearing altrocker/actor), and I was disturbed by the Zach Braf rumor (mits off John Krazinski beeotch)…but this, this is WAR Jessica Simpson. No she DI’INT!

    This is the man that wrote these lyrics:

    I can tell you this much
    I will marry just once
    And if it doesn’t work out
    Give her half of my stuff
    It’s fine with me
    We said eternity
    And I will go to my grave
    With the life that I gave
    Not just some melody line
    On a radio wave
    It dissapates
    And soon evaporates
    But home life doesn’t change

    -Is she really the kind of girl that can live up to his hopes for his future home life?

    -I totally get it if he just wants a casual fling with her b/c she is hawt…but more than that??

  2. TALK! Says:

    I’m so glad we’re in synch on this.

    By the way…did it bother you at all that Mandy Moore was with Zach (and then tried to get her talon into Taylor)?

    ‘Cause it bothered the hell out of me!

  3. TALK! Says:

    And, while we’re at this, why is it that I’m NOT upset that Seal is with Heidi Klum?

    I mean, by the same arguement as used above…I should be…shouldn’t I?

    Or does the success of Project Runway and the fact that Heidi speaks two languages make me put her higher up the “substance” food chain than Jessica?

  4. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I actually liked Zach and Mandy together. I think Mandy is one cool, smart and funny chick. And Heidi is a lot the same. It doesn’t bother me near as much when guys date hot females as long as they have substance to them.

    Jessica is vapid. There is nothing but beauty there. She does have a great voice and she’s sweet…but there are tumbleweeds drifting through her brain. That’s what pisses me off.

    Do I hate that I’m not stunning and able to date super-talented musicians…yes. But I’m not gonna hold it against some other chick b/c she’s hot. I will hold it against her if she’s stupid though. Because that’s a choice.

    Taylor will end up with a hot chick. That is a fact. I just hope she’s smart, kind, funny, and knows how to cook greens along with being gorgeous.

  5. TALK! Says:

    You’re a lot more gracious than I.

    I hold it against them!

    I want…nay…I friggin’ deserve…a super-talented musician…and I make no apologies.

    I may sit alone in my little house until I’m 92…but I make no apologies.

    I really don’t know anything about Mandy Moore…other than she used to be blonde and sing. I guess that’s what I was basing my thoughts on.

    If you say she’s cool…I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt.

    I’m liked Klum since she had a guest spot on the episode of Spin City where Michael J. Fox locked himself in the bathroom with a toilet that overflowed while Klum knocked on the door. It cracked me up.

    But then…Michael J. Fox is a comedic genius. I love him.

  6. Holeigh Says:

    Blah, this pissed me off too! John Mayer is so talented in all the facets of music and she’s just a bubblegum pop artist. She’s sweet and beautiful but to think of them together annoys me to no end.

    As far as Zach and Mandy, I liked them together. Mandy is actually very talented and different from the rest of the pop singers like her. She’s a real person and I love that.

    I think…I want to date John Mayer. πŸ˜€

  7. TALK! Says:

    Awww…Holeigh and John.

    So sweet.

    Okay…what on earth have I missed that everyone loves Mandy Moore?

    Explain it to me.

  8. bamaborntxbred Says:

    My motto is:

    Expect that nothing good will ever happen. If you expect good things to happen and they don’t, you will be disappointed. If you don’t expect good things to happen and they do, you will always be pleasantly surprised. πŸ™‚

    I don’t deserve anything b/c I’m baaad…but I will be asking Santa for my very own sexy Monkbot.

    -Mandy Moore did a couple of episodes of Scrubs when she was dating Zach. Awww…
    -When she was doing that “teen scene” thing back the late 90’s, she gave an interview that I happened to catch. She was only 15 or so, and she was talking about how her “handlers” had wanted her to have a sexier look. She didn’t think it was appropriate, nor did she think she needed to do that to prove her talent. She just seemed so mature and I was very impressed. I followed her career (not carefully) ever since then.

  9. suzi-q Says:

    This makes me ill. But then much of what “celebrities” do makes me ill, especially, when so much could be done besides all the gobbldegook that America is so fascinated with when it comes to “a star”. If many, not all, had as much sense as they have money, so many desparate situations would be aided (please no list of who does what, if they seek any recognition for it, the stars are doing anything for themselves not for good of others)

  10. TALK! Says:

    You know…today’s post has really been a downer.

    I’ll try for something more upbeat tomorrow.

    Sorry folks.

  11. NOLAgirl Says:

    Well, I saw on one of those craptastic “news” shows this evening that Jessica has said that John makes her feel beautiful, special and …. y’all ready for this … INTELLIGENT!

    Ok, now that you’ve picked yourself up off the floor …

    Do you think she means that HIS intelligence makes her feel a little smarter while around him … or do you think “you’re so … intelligent” is just his line before he goes all “your body is a wonderland” on her?

  12. double d Says:

    He’s in lust. Won’t last.

  13. TALK! Says:

    NOLA said, “or do you think “you’re so … intelligent” is just his line before he goes all “your body is a wonderland” on her?”


    Um…prize of day goes to you, chica.

    The Official Word of the Day Prize.

  14. double d Says:

    Man, I never get the prize….I’m sad. 😦

  15. TALK! Says:

    Your day is comin’, DD…I can feel it! πŸ˜‰

  16. Holeigh Says:

    I sure hope I can get the prize someday!

    Meanwhile, I will be listening to My John (tehe) sing “Gravity” as a part of John Mayer Trio…heck yes.

    Oh, yes. As Bama said, Mandy Moore is very different in the ways she presents herself. She doesn’t want to make herself a spectacle or be just another unattainable image, she wants to promote herself as she is. Plus, she’s a pretty decent actress and she can sing. Definitely like her.

  17. nolagirl Says:

    “Gravity” kicks ass, Holeigh. Love that whole CD!

  18. TALK! Says:

    MMMMM….gonna have to investiage “Gravity.”

    Have y’all heard his “Continuum” album? If so…is it any good?

  19. NOLAgirl Says:

    John Mayer posted this on his blog. Hee hee.


  20. TALK! Says:

    NOLA…hilarious…thanks for sharing! πŸ˜‰

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