Ear Aches…Wooden Carts…Black Dogs…and Toilets



So I stayed home from work today with fatigue, a sore throat, and an ear ache.

I got up at 7 a.m., only to put Sadie in the backyard, check my e-mail, and then crawl back into bed shortly there after. When I woke up, it was dark in my room and sounded as if a storm was blowing outside. I remembered that I had put Sadie in the back and went to let her in.

I felt like I was running through my house in slow motion…trying to get to the backdoor. And when I opened it and Sadie came in, I saw that the skies were overcast and the wind was blowing pretty hard. I decided I had better get to the store for some ear medicine before the rains came.

I drove for what seemed like forever to get to the store until, finally, I pulled up in front of this wooden building with college students going in and out of it.

I walked inside and the flickering and buzzing of worn out fluorescent lighting gave everything from produce to baked goods a greenish pall.

I looked down each of the dimly lit aisles for ear ache medicine but found nothing. All the store carried was Cup O’ Noodles, cereal, and beer…catering, I guessed, to the collegiate customer base.

I decided I would have to look elsewhere for the medicine and walked out of the store. I saw an old pal of mine from Mississippi State University, but when I called after him, he just looked at me and drove off.

I leaned against a pole to rest…my head was swimming.

When I got to my car, it had been replaced by a strange cart made of slats of wood, pedals, and metal casters. There was no steering device, but that didn’t seem to matter. I sat down and began to peddle. No sooner had I started down the road, a black dog jumped on back of the cart and put his front paws on my shoulders…enjoying the ride.

The road began to narrow as the flora squeezed in on me…until, finally, the path ended at the back door of a cabin. I got off the cart, left it and dog behind, and went inside.

I entered the most beautiful old Southern parlor I’d ever seen. The walls were lined with dark, rich coverings and the furniture was antique and ornate. I had to get back on the main road and, making the assumption that the road continued on the other side of the cabin, I kept walking through set after set of double doors. With each set of doors I opened, I entered parlors more beautiful than the previous.

I finally had to stop and try to find a restroom. But all the ladies rooms I came across had stalls so small that, once I was inside, I couldn’t even move my arms to let my pants down. Finally, though, I came to a handicap stall and entered as quickly as I could…because I now was desperate to relieve myself.

As soon as I entered the stall, I looked down and realized I was wearing a huge crinoline with layer upon layer of tulle. The skirting was so voluminous that, once again, the stall was too cramped to manipulate my arms. I had to struggle to work the netting up, so I could sit on the toilet. And, after I was done, I made mess of myself when I tried to clean up, getting urine on my right hand. As I tried to fix my skirt, my wet hand began to burn…I couldn’t wait to wash it.

All of a sudden, a stranger leaned over the top of the stall and said that I needed to begin clapping and cheering. Curious as to why my cheers were being requested, I stood on tip-toe and peered over the top of the stall. A basketball coach, riding in a War of the Worlds tripod, went marching by…screaming at crowds of people now filling the parlor and threatening them if they didn’t cheer for his team. The crowds, in fear of their lives, began clapping maniacally…as did I.

As soon as the WoTW’s coach passed, I left the stall and walked to the sink to wash my hands. On the counter was a varied and bizarre arrangement of pump bottles. There were bottles of insecticide, lotion, cleaners, perfumes, etc…but all I wanted was soap to clean my hand and stop the burning.

Finally I found the hand soap, tucked between pump bottles of roach bait and fertilizer.

I pumped my hand full of soap, lathered up, put my hands under the warm water…and promptly woke up.

I opened my eyes and realized it had all been a dream…but why did my right hand still feel wet and like it was on fire?

As I came out of the stupor induced by the deep sleep of being ill, I remembered that I had fallen asleep with my head on a heating pad to ease my ear ache. At some point in my sleep, I had tucked my right hand under my head (probably to keep my face from being scalded by the pad) and it was squashed against the now very hot pad.

And the wetness? No, I didn’t wet the bed…but have I ever told you guys about the joys of sleeping with a mouth guard in? It’s sexy, drooly loveliness.


The only thing better than waking up with your face and hand covered in your own saliva and your ear and knuckles red from a heating pad set to “fry” is sleeping so hard that you wake up dazed from some bizarre dream and with enough sheet marks on your face, arms, and chest to qualify you for the Ms. Senior Citizen pageant.

Forget Justin…I’m friggin’ bringing sexy back, baby.


13 Responses to “Ear Aches…Wooden Carts…Black Dogs…and Toilets”

  1. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Okay I figured out pretty quick that you were dreaming but lemme say a couple of things:

    1. I laughed hysterically at the dog hitching a ride with you. Why is this image so funny to me? It’s very “Little Rascals”.

    2. I cannot tell you how many times that scary-ass WOtW tri-pod thingy has shown up in my nightmares. I didn’t think much of the movie…as a matter of fact, I was laughing so hard through the movie people were starting to yell at me…But, the damned tri-pods still haunt me.

    3. I have also had numerous bathroom stall dreams. They’ve never been too small…They have always disappeared while I was in the middle of “my business”. So, you know, I was mortified, etc. Except this one dream where my desk at work was a bathroom stall and my chair was a toilet…and so was everyone else’s. I thought it was mortifying, but since everyone else seemed to think it was normal, I kept acting like it was no big deal.

    Awesome post! I loved the imagery!

  2. bamaborntxbred Says:

    P.S. The illustration is adorable!

  3. shelley Says:

    Ha…yeah…I was going to try to keep it cryptic as long as possible, but it wasn’t gonna work.

    You’re desk/chair/toilet scenario is hilarious. I’ve had one’s similar.

    You know how people say they dream of being naked in public? I’ve never dreamed that…but I’ve dreamed about people seeing me on the pot MANY times.

    I guess that freaks me out worse than people seeing me naked…go figure.

    Oh…for those who share mine and Bama’s nerosis (sp?) for people seeing us on the pot…check this out.

  4. shelley Says:

    thanks…that’s the height of my illustration sophistication.

    hence the reason i had Ben do the logo. 😉

  5. nolagirl Says:

    Was this BEFORE any kind of medication or after?? LOL

    Koo-koo. Koo-koo.

    No, but really, I have wacked out dreams sometime too, and so vivid. I am glad that you didn’t hurt yourself with the heating pad, and I am bummed that you are not feeling well! 😦

    Bella would like to pretend that she was THE black dog in your dream. 🙂

  6. shelley Says:

    I haven’t taken any medication…yet.

    I gotta get to the store…I just haven’t felt like making the drive yet today.

    Of course Bella can be the dog! We’d have fun on such an adventure. 😉

  7. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Okay, b/c I’m one sick puppy and I had to know, I looked up dream analysis and what “toilets” may mean in a dream:

    TOILET The actual room: Many people find their only privacy in the toilet, so it can depict their need for, or feelings about, privacy.

    If it is a bathroom and toilet: Possibly includes the need for cleaning up your sexual attitudes or general attitude to others and self.

    Toilet bowl: The part of you that deals with your body wastes, and the emotions you need to discharge. It can also represent the female sexual organ; ‘sexpot’.

    Going to the toilet: Expressing yourself; releasing feelings, often creative; letting go of tightly held attitudes, the past, or sexuality; acceptance of your own natural drives and needs.

    What you put down the toilet: What you consider to be the least important or most unpleasant aspects of yourself or your experience; what you want to get out of our life. See: Faeces, Cesspool, Urine

    **I personally like the “sexpot” reference to the toilet. Who knew?

  8. shelley Says:

    Um…I don’t know if I should leave that post up now…yikes…have i reveaeled too much of my inner thoughts? ;P

    I didn’t think of it being about my “sexpot” or sexuality at all.

    I thought I was just not feeling well…and stressed after a weekend of visitors (Jan, my cousin Jamie and his girlfriend, Brooke).

    What can you find out about the dog…the cart…and the path ending at the cabin?

    I’m pretty sure the store was just about how much I hate going to the Kroger. And the college friend? Well, he’s in Russia. The last e-mail he sent, I haven’t responded to so I’m sure he’s pissed.

    Tell me more, Dr. Bama Freud.

  9. double d Says:

    Monkbot rules, Shelley drools….hilarious, as usual.

    Funny you should mention dreams…

    A couple of nights ago, I dreamed that I met Gray. He was all dressed in black and looked like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. (Perhaps triggered by my references to Shrewby-Doo.) Initially, he scared me by running up to me and then said, “Hey, I’m Gray.” Then, I busted out laughing….literally out loud….and woke myself up. Then, I laughed again, causing my husband to ask, “What’s so funny?”


    Moral of the dream: Gray is scary funny?

  10. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Okay Shelley, you asked for it:

    DOG In general the dog in your dream represent strong feelings or urges that are only slightly socialised or proper. If you have loved dogs and been loved by them, then it can depict this love or caring given or received.

    The dog is generally thought of as a male creature, quite different to the femininity of cats. It thus stands for male sexuality and adventurousness or aggressiveness. As it sees in the dark, and has keen ears, it is sometimes used as a symbol of instinctive or intuitive knowledge. The dog here also represents the instinctive life. That is, the person who lives without much feeling or thought, like an animal. In some dreams, the dog is used in a similar way to the Egyptian symbology, as a guide into the unconscious, or land of the Dead.

    CAR Anything that transports you, like a truck, a train or a car, is an image of your ability to get somewhere in life, to motivate yourself and other people. Who you are with in these forms of transport show what attitude you have to those who share your endeavours.

    They also depict the ambitions, attitudes and care, or lack of it that drive you in life. The manner in which you make your way through life of course involves you in countless relationships of various sorts. So the car is again a symbol of such meetings and partings.

    The car in your dream can depict what you feel about your social status or social standing. They are also excellent images of self control or lack of it, in your relationships with others.

    Car body: Your own body. Therefore the car body might illustrate feelings about your own appearance or physical condition.

    PATH Your direction in life; the ideas or aspirations that govern direction. If we love caring for others, these feelings may direct us along the path of healing, nursing, medical practice. (Or Toilets) The path therefore symbolises the direction indicated by your predominant feelings. To lose the way, or go off the path, is to lose contact with, become confused over, or ignore your inner tendency, or to miss seeing the cues or signs in your environment that suggest a change in direction. A well worn path suggests a well established or habitual way of doing something; the way other people do it, so following the norm.

    **P.S. My, my aren’t we learning a lot about Ms. Shelley?? 😉

    **P.P.S. I don’t know how much I buy into this stuff.

    ***P.P.P.S. The WOtW tri-pods are symbolic of the monkbots need to rule the world.

  11. shelley Says:

    DD…that was hilarious!

    Gray = Shaggy


  12. shelley Says:

    Bama…I’m officially checking myself in to the psychiatric ward…wanna come? 😉

    HA! The thing about the mode of transportation representing my body CRACKED ME UP!

    I don’t want to even talk about the fact that the dog hitched a ride with me…let me do all the driving….then I left him behind because I was trying to “get back on the road.”

  13. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Well, and the fact that you must think of other people that share your endeavours as…dogs. Ha!

    I will absolutely go to the P-Ward with you! I’d fit right in!

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