Igor the Scottish Monkey


Last week I received the most wonderful care package…it contained…

Tomato Ketchup Crisps
Brown Sauce
Tartan Beanies
A Crown
Beautiful Postcards


A Monkey

The package was from our dear little Rowan…who obviously has a healthy sense of the ridiculous (all the reason to love her more and more).

I cracked up as I opened the box and started fishing out the contents.

I immediately dove into the shortbreads (Walkers) and now…a week later…am sad to say…they are entirely GONE! So delicious! I loved them.

The potato crisps were a bit of a leap for me. I’m a traditionalist when it comes to potato chips…maybe add BBQ flavor…but mostly…I prefer them plain.

I took a deep breath and dove in.

They tasted like French fries with the ketchup built in! I finished off the grab bag with a smile. Can’t wait to share these with my folks.

I don’t know what quite to use the brown sauce for…Rowan…help me out.

The beanies are hilarious. They come fully equipped with a pom-pom atop and a shock of red hair at the bottom. Hilarious.

The postcards are from Dundee and the River Tay. And they have the sweetest messages.

The crown fits perfectly on Igor the Monkey’s head.

And speaking of Igor…

He’s a chatterbox, with the prettiest green eyes. And he certainly will keep me company while Traveling Monkbot is out and about. I have to say, though, Sadie didn’t really love him as much as I do. Ha.

Here’s a clip so everyone can enjoy Igor.

Rowan, thank you so much for my care package. It was truly delightful. Oh, and thanks for sending two of the crisps, sauce, and hats so I can pass them on to Bama. I know she’ll love them all!


47 Responses to “Igor the Scottish Monkey”

  1. claire Says:

    Ah yes – HP brown sauce. Not a fan myself Shelley, but I believe it can be used on most things, eg bacon sandwiches, with steak, etc. Kinda like ketchup, but not.

    Now the crisps? Mmmm-mmmm. Shelley, do not EVAH make yourself a crisp sandwich (cheese n’ onion flavour, with white bread and butter) because it will defeat any healthy eating plan known to man. Soooo addictive.

    I gotta say, I’m not a huge fan of shortbread. I find it slightly too buttery. (This, coming from a girl who ate TWO croissants for breakfast this morning, sheesh. They are like, 100% butter.)

    Rowan, didn’t you send any Cadburys chocolate to Shelley? She must taste the magnificence of Dairy Milk, and ooh, what about a bar of Turkish Delight, or Caramello (mmmmmmmmmmmmm-caramellooooooo)…..

  2. shelley Says:

    Claire…have to say….I would eat a stick of butter right out of the wrapper if i could.


    Believe it or not…we have Cadbury chocolate here in the U.S. and we have Caramellos.

    However, I’ve never had Turkish Delight. I don’t even know what it is.

  3. Claire Says:

    Shelley, I have eaten American Cadburys Chocolate, and it ain’t the same as here. Not at all. Darker and grainier. Mind you, it was 1994, maybe things have changed….

    Side note: Everyone who visits the States from my workplace is under strict instruction to bring back bags of Hershey’s Hugs & Kisses. For some reason, we can’t get enough of the stuff…I also love Hershsy’s Chocolate Syrup (mmm, chocolate milk…)

    Dang, now I’m gettin’ all nostalgic for Montauk. 😦 I wanna be a student again, share a basement room with seven other girls, work two jobs, and never sleep….I wanna relive my first taste of Ben & Jerrys ice cream (it was Chunky Monkey), my first viewing of American MTV, my utter confusion as to why your money all looks the dang same, and who the HECK was this OJ guy that everyone was hollering about??? (1994 – remember?)

    Good times, good times.

  4. Rowan Says:

    Awwww, thanks, Shelley!! Loooove the video. Glad you liked him. He has a press switch on his back too, and goes to sleep and snores, totally unexpectedly! He also starts using actual words, again, completely unexpectedly. I got the fright of my life when I heard this funny wee voice saying,”be my friend”, when he’d never spoken the first few times I’d tried him. I had a frantic phone-call from my mother one day, on my mobile. She was babysitting, had turned Igor on out of curiosity, and he had gone on gesticulating for about ten minutes, refusing to shut off. Most definitely a cheeky monkey! Think that episode will have worn his batteries out a bit – sawree!

    Claire…with you on the Turkish Delight, sistah. Yum! Nothing tops the Fry’s chocolate covered variety. Will see about sending some!(Your student days in the US sound great fun, btw.)

    Sorry Sadie!

  5. Rowan Says:

    Meant to say, love the jungle noises! Very very cool. I can see Igor has found a lovely happy home. Am all glowy! 0-{:8)}

  6. claire Says:

    Ooh, yes – Fry’s Turkish Delight. Gotta love that chocolate covered slab o’ loveliness. My dad loves Fry’s Chocolate Cream, do they still make that??


    We wantssss it. We neeedssss it.

  7. Rowan Says:

    Claire..yes, they do still make it…want some? (Slaps self upside head and tries to think about Ryvita crackers)

  8. claire Says:

    Rowan, keep me as far away as is humanly possible from chocolate, and chocolate-related products 🙂


    Ryvita? Maybe with Panda chocolate spread, hee hee….or Nutella…

    Ack, now I have to go buy Turkish Delight AND Nutella!

  9. Rowan Says:

    Bwa ha ha ha!

    Nutella…hee hee. Hear you…

    Hmm…okay. If yer lookin fur austerity with that chocolate hit, I have boxes of Chocolate Tea, courtesy of Dr Bob. Calorie free, really very nice, and very chocolatey aroma! Will share, if you’d like to try it…pretty good!

  10. HicksChick4Soul Says:

    Did someone mention Nutella……I I I I I I I I I LOVE NUTELLA!!! Now I can’t stop thinking about it….I think I need to move to Europe…. Anyway, Igor kinda sounds like the Europe version of the Furby (except Igor sounds like he actually works)……

  11. claire Says:

    Chocolate Tea??? Surely not!! Rowan, I already have white tea, green tea, peppermint tea, licorice tea, and ordinary tea in my cupboard. Perhaps I’ll wait until I whittle away at those stocks before I dare try (gulp) chocolate tea….it could be a slippery slope. One day it’s “just one cup” and before you know it, BOOM!!!! Yer selling yer grannys china set for the next fix.

    HC4S – Hi! you MUST be feeling better if you want Nutella!! (milk it for as long as possible, though, hee hee..)

  12. Rowan Says:

    HCS…cyber Nutella for you! They even make it sound healthy! LOL

  13. HicksChick4Soul Says:

    I know I know…..no milk products for like a week……:(……..thanks for the commercial rowan….I could actually read some of it :)!

  14. Rowan Says:

    Claire…”Sellin yer granny’s tea set” ROFL – yer killin me today!

    Well, I am very wary of flavoured teas, in general…twitchy, sistah, twitchy! I likes my Earl Grey. Was intrigued to try this stuff though, and in spite of being decaf, it is pretty nice.

    Hey – while you’re here, I’ll just look out the link to my Ebay listing… in case you’re interested…genuine Wedgewood… no chips or cracks…granny’s pride and joy…

  15. Quossum Says:

    OMG, that Igor is *darling!* Definitely a subspecies of Monkbot, for sure. =)


  16. Dr. Bob Says:

    The chocolate tea is good — from Trader Joe’s which I thought was iconic Southern California. Not really chocolatey, though. Innnteresting.

    I admit that I did not “get” turkish delight. Rowan bought some for me to take back — it was not a huge hit over here. The rose flavored was interesting, though. I suppose that slathering it in chocolate would help.

    But … Cadbury! That is a horse of a different color. You have redeemed yourselves with that. Before I left, I bought a bunch of different kinds that we can’t get here. Cadbury is fab. Mmmmmm …

    I think that Igor is a little too sentient for me…

  17. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I love Igor!! What a cutie pie!! Rowan- thank you so much for my little gifts. When Shelley called me to tell me I was getting brown sauce…I about died! I love sauce of all kinds and I can’t wait to try the brown variety…yummy!

    All I know of Turkish Delight is that it’s what Edmund Pevensie requested from the White Witch in The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was “magic” and his lust for it caused him to sell out his brother and sisters. It must be really good…

    Ummm…Nutella and strawberries. That’s my kind of treat!

  18. ruhappytoseeme Says:

    ohhh I love igor hes adorable! I remember when the kids all had to have furbys, who was sitting online with my camera on and showing a room full of people what a furby can do? my three kids who wanted them?…. no… ME and when they started talking english I about lost it LOL it called me mommy, the kids were so mad cause they didnt talk to them in english but then again mom was playing with them all the time (along with the darn neno babies they just had to have, yet I was at work in the bathroom trying to make sure they didnt die, kids sheesh LOL)
    oh and guys, stop talking about chocolateeeeeeeeeeeeeee LOL

  19. Shrewspeaks Says:

    I love the wee little monkey…but ho in the name of all things tartan did he get a Russian name?

  20. Rowan Says:

    Shrew – think it was Bama’s idea, that TM should have a sideckick, and Igor was Dr Frankenstein’s sideckick in the old b/w films. Funny!

  21. leejolem Says:

    I have to say I’m a little skeered of Igor. His eyes can see right thru my soul. I’m not sure I could fall asleep w/him in the same room , but I’m sure he’s harmless once you get to know him. LOL.

    Is turkish delight like taffy or toffee? Bama, I too thought of poor Edmund in the Narnia Chronicles and therefore Turkish Delight has a black mark by it in my book, but I have never tried it. I am a huge fan of Lindt white chocolate or milke choclolate truffles. Yummy!!!

  22. Rowan Says:

    Ooooh, Lee, turkish delight is fab. It comes in two versions, the Victorian throwback icing-sugary rose-flavoured jelly cubes (which ase okaaaay) and the Fry’s chocolate covered jelly slab variety, which is just, well, just about the yummiest thing on the planet. Always have some before embarking on yet another diet…

    Shelley, what is the html for Wonkavision, cos the ad is cheesy, but the choccy is not…wish I could send the real thang!

  23. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Rowan- chocolate covered anything is fine by me!!

    I’ve had chocolate covered gummi bears before…which are awesome…are the TD like gummi bears…or softer??

    I want some chocolate covered TD more than anything in the world now!!

  24. claire Says:

    Bama, Turkish Delight is a pinky-red, rose-flavoured, jelly-type confection, only a little more solid than regular Jello (which we just call jelly over here.) So it’s soft-ish in texture, easily cut/bitten through/smushed/swallowed whole, LOL! Frys’ Turkish Delight isn’t as strongly-flavoured as some I’ve tasted, which is nice. I ate some TD recently from a pick n’ mix, and it was just foul!! I almost spat it out. Far too strong and solid in texture.

    Now, imagine rose-flavoured Jello covered in milk chocolate. Mmmmm. (Although some people simply don’t like it, like Dr. Bob/Mind Doc.)

    If you guys have Cadburys chocolate bars – do you have Cadbury’s Roses???

  25. leejolem Says:

    Rose-flavored jelly-o, interesting! I haven’s seen Cadbury Roses. We do have those weird Cadbury Creme eggs around Easter time that look like you’re eating the yolk from an egg (and you can’t resist eating one each season).

  26. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I’ve never heard of Cadbury’s Roses….although I love the Cadbury’s Eggs they have out at Easter time!! Yummy!

    What’s a Cadbury Rose?

    I totally would eat Turkish Delight…and I’m sure I’d love it!

  27. Claire Says:

    Ah, Creme Eggs – I could eat a bucket of ’em! They are sooooo addictive.

    Cadbury’s Roses are basically assorted chocolates. Y’know, caramel-flavoured, or orange/strawberry fondant, or fudge, nut, double-choc, yada yada. They are reeeeeally nice. We sometimes get boxes of them from gratful patients, and they get DEMOLISHED within minutes. (Although there was “Roses” overkill during Christmas week. Even I had to turn my back on yet another 1.5k drum that landed on the desk. Oy. My tight-fitting pants bear testament to my indulgences over the festive season.)

  28. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ooooh…I love chocolate treaty things like that! We have Russel Stover’s here.

    I love not know what yer gonna get when you bite into something!

  29. leejolem Says:

    How about the Whitman’s Sampler? I get my older daughter one every year for Christmas and try to talk her out of the molasses chew.

  30. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Yummm…but my ultimate indulgence is Godiva truffles . Oh lordy! That is sin in a box right there!

  31. leejolem Says:

    Bama, that is HC4S’s favorite. She gets an 8 piece truffle box every year at Christmas and guards them with her life. No one is even allowed to look at the box. Yesterday on the Food Network they had all these chocolate challenges and it was torturous to watch!

  32. Rowan Says:

    Bama – those truffles look great!
    I am more of a hard chocolate caramel person, myself. Love the hazelnut in soft toffee (the big purple one from Quality Street choc selection) but always raid the tins for the choccy caramel and pink diamond fudge.

    Leejolem and Claire – agree about the creme eggs..whoo hoo! Have been on the point, several times, of writing to Cadbury’s to ask if they will do an actual large Easter-egg sized creme egg, at Easter. Not just the usual empty chocolate shell with a wee creme egg stuck underneath in the cardboard, but a whopping great mega creme egg. The French have a phrase, “attention les arteres” – arteries look out… had it said to me often on my school exchange by the host family, awestruck at my penchant for their lovely butter and lovely bread.

    Aware of the pitfalls,then, but I still want one. An ostrich-egg sized creme egg with a long fancy ice-cream spoon. They I could eat the fondant yolkiness in a disinterested and ladylike manner, should anyone happen by…

  33. leejolem Says:

    Rowan, I’m picturing you with your ice-cream spoon “eating the fondant yolkiness in a disinterested and ladylike manner” and ROFLMBO!

  34. claire Says:

    Rowan, Rowan, Rowan. How often have I had that very thought about a gigantic Creme Egg, full of that sugary fondant, that you could just cut the top off with a large knife, and (disregarding your spoon reference – too civilised) just dip yer damn hand in and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……….

    Empty chocolate shell be damned! I flip the bird in your general direction, evil chocolate makers!! Bring forth the Creme Egg of Creme Eggs. Write that letter to Mr. Cadbury, Rowan, I shall co-sign.

    The time has come. Viva la Revolucion!!

  35. Rowan Says:

    Claire – you are right sistah. There is no time to waste! (Hunting through cupboards for discarded Doc Martens and ex-army studenty parka with Che Guevara badge.) In fact, we should go to Cadbury head office and chain ourselves to the railings…it worked for the suffragettes!

    They will feel duty bound to come out of the factory at regular intervals and feed us chocolate mis-shapes. : D

  36. leejolemcremeeggrevolutionary Says:

    Claire and Rowan, what have you 2 been smoking over across the pond? You are too funny!

  37. Cadbury's creme claire Says:

    ok, this thread was so much fun! Sorry if we Celts hogged it again, but dang Rowan, the Che Guevara -style parka? ROFLMAO! I also had Doc Martens as a student (what student didn’t??) but I had what I affectionately termed my “shoplifters coat”. Bought for me during my first year in college by my mother. It was one of those longish, padded coats with loads and loads of pockets….I swear, when I went into a shop, the security guard would (nonchalantly) follow me around. You could’ve stuffed sooo many things into those pockets!!! Fortunately, I’m not a shopliftin’ kinda gal. But it was funny to walk into a store (student, remember? I looked kinda grungy), and wander around the feminine hygiene aisle, stopping to compare tampon brands, while a burly security guard stood nearby, pretending to be engrossed in a display of panty liners.

    Hee hee. Students are evil.

    But back to the subject….I love chocolate 🙂

    Leejolem, I trust we can count on your support in our revolutionary endeavours?

  38. Dr. Bob Says:

    The celtic sistah monkbots are on a tear again! Whoo hoo!

    (and I admit that I was worried when I tried turkish delight — I also remembered what happened to Edmund)

  39. Rowan Scotch Egg Says:

    Claire – yep, great fun! Like the description of your coat – hee hee! Great pre-emptive strike with the suspicious security guard and the feminine hygiene products!

    So – tactical conference – we will email Cadbury’s ans set forth our terms, The Big One on the shelves this Easter, or the gloves are off and the moth-eaten parkas are on…

    Leejolem – as chief eggsecutive of transatlantic eggsports, you can lobby from across the sea. We shall prevail…

    Dr Bob – think you would like Fry’s turkish delight. It is to other brands what carob is to choccy..

  40. Rowan Creme Egg on Face Says:

    Um, I mean that the other way around…to other brands as choccy is to carob! You knows what I means…lol

  41. leejolem1/8scottishwoman Says:

    Yummy, scotch eggs are good! There’s a Scottish pub downtown indy and they make great little deep fried, sausage wrapped eggs!

  42. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hey!! I want in on this eggseptional mission! Monkbots unite!

    I want a Scotch egg!! Gimme!! I always wondered what they were and now I know!

  43. chocolate covered claire Says:

    OMG, scotch eggs are sooooooooooooo yummy. Hard-boiled, sausage meat wrapped, breadcrumbed, deep-fried eggs. My mouth is watering (and my arteries are hardening) just at the thought.

    Shell – think we need a permanent food thread on the sidebar!!!

  44. bamaborntxbred Says:

    What does the egg part get like? Like a boiled egg kinda?

    Food thread! Food thread!!

  45. leejolem Says:

    Bama, it’s like a hard boiled egg. They have a really yummy dipping sauce too!

  46. claire Says:

    The egg would have been already hard-boiled separately in the normal way, Bama, so the deep-frying really just cooks the sausage meat and breadcrumb coating, and heats the egg through, I suppose.

    Dammit, I have eggs in the fridge. Have to buy sausage meat now, I s’pose 😉

    mmmmmm….sausage meat….

  47. bamaborntxbred Says:


    I want a Scotch egg real, real bad!! And the sauce that goes with it too!!

    Lets start an entire blog about food!!

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