A Totally Egotistical, Self-Serving Post…Happy Birthday to Me


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Thirty-seven years ago today, the sun began to shine a little brighter and all the birds in the trees learned a new song.

From that day on, many people found they smiled a little more, and the joyous laughter of children warmed the earth with a blanket of happiness and hope.

Yes…that day…that glorious day…was…Shelley’s Birthday.

Happy Birthday to Me.

NOLAgirl, Squeebee, Texan, DD, Monklex, Mini-DD, Quossum, and Shrewspeaks…y’all made me cry.

Thank you so much.

(And the secret iTunes gifter was Bama…thanks, chick!)

P.S. Y’all make me feel so blessed.


58 Responses to “A Totally Egotistical, Self-Serving Post…Happy Birthday to Me”

  1. wompuss Says:

    HAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaappy BIRTHday, Shelly!!

  2. Rowan Says:

    Awww Shelley, have a wonderful day! Thank you for making our last year such a happy one! May this year bring you all the good things in life you so richly deserve!

  3. Libby Says:


    Happy Birthday to our wonderful leader here in the world of Monkbots !!

    Hope you are blessed with a special day that is filled with all of the things you like and love —

  4. jenfera Says:

    Happy Birthday Shelley! Best wishes for a fabulous year!

  5. double d Says:

    The kittens are actually smiling this morning.


    Wishing you rainbows, puffy clouds, sunshine and harmonica solos.

  6. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Happy Birthday Shelley Maria Conchita Alonzo Gonzalez!

    I hope your work-day is as fun as a work-day birthday can be!!

  7. shelley Says:

    Hey All…thanks for the well wishes and good vibes.

    Thanks to everyone who sent an e-card.

    And…to the anonymous person who sent the iTunes card…THANKS! I will have so much fun spending it. 🙂

    Okay…as much as it pains me to tell folks to talk about something other than moi…y’all feel free to discuss whatever you like…including what I thought was the most boring Oscars presentation in history.

    I was really expecting more from Ellen. She was funny…but her bit with going out in the audience got really old, really fast.

    And when she broke out the vacuum cleaner…I wanted to throw something at the t.v.

    what did y’all think?

  8. Hatson Says:

    First, the most important comment. HAPPY BIRTHDAT SHELLEY!!!! I said the exact same thing last night about the oscars, and I have not missed one in many many years( let’s just say that to be your age again would be great). First they messed too much with traditions like the orders of the awards. Waiting for the best supporting actress was annoying, since it is always at the beginning. Ellen had a few good moments like Spielberg taking pictures, but overall she did not do much. You would think by now a producer would know what fans want and expect. Of course I was bored, but I watched it all!! That is probably why they don’t try to do a better job. They have us at Hello!

  9. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Happy Birthday gal!

    Oscars…I loved the opening with all the nominees…but they fumbled it by not giving enough explinations…how nice it would have been to have Ellen make her opening…do the film montage…THEN the gospel choir! Jeeze! No real upsets as far as I was concerned, Peter O’Toole on the other hand was quite surprised by Forest Whitaker’s win…heh.

    Speaking of which best thank you speech goes to Forest…talk about eloquent. Now THAT was the surprise…I thought Dame Mirin would pull it out, but the queen doesn’t need anything dedicated to her.

    I also love Martin Scorses saying everyone, EVERYONE said he should win an Oscar. “People in doctors offices” HA!

    And what was up with Keaton and Nicholson at the end? Did naughty Jack peak at the results and selfishly want to announce “The Departed”? I guess JN is not known for his genteel ways.

    Overall though a big yawn fest…even the neat idea of the dance troop was just that a neat idea…the execution…ho-hum.

    BRING BACK BILLY CRYSTAL OR JON STEWART! Or let me host…yeah right!

  10. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Shelley! I didn’t mean to be all mysterious and anonymous! Hope you enjoy your gift!

    The Oscars- Who cares about the show? I care about the fashion!

    Top 5 Best Dressed (in order):

    1. Nicole Kidman
    2. Gwyneth Paltrow
    3. Cate Blanchette
    4. Reese Witherspoon
    5. Penelope Cruz

    Runner’s Up:

    1. Celine Dion
    2. Abigail Breslin

    Worst Dressed:

    1. Meryl Streep
    2. Jennifer Hudson (on arriving)
    3. Faye Dunaway
    4. Kirsten Dunst
    5. Kelly Preston

  11. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Speaking of Ms. Hudson…she almost did a Janet Nasty during the DreamGirls segment. All call for industrial stregnth tape!

  12. Squee abd Texan Says:

    Happy Birthday, Shel! Just wanted to clarify that Shrewbie was the one who made the wonderful tribute video. All we did was add our good wishes. Credit where credit is due, and all that! 😉

  13. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Nola spurred me on…and y’all inspired it…so…no need. It was a True ALL MonkBot Affair!

  14. shelley Says:

    I wish I could find a picture of Kirsten’s dress…it was hideous.

    How can such a young, lovely young lady dress manage to dress so often like my Great Aunt Ada?

    She looked terrible.

  15. claire Says:

    Shelley!! La Breithla Shona Dhuit, a chara deas!!

    Which means – happy birthday, my lovely friend!! It ain’t “gettin’ older”, it’s “gettin’ better”!!

    Oscar highlights are on tonight here, but I will miss it cos I will be at choir practice. I think I’ll live 🙂
    I will echo Shrew- BRING BACK BILLY CRYSTAL!! His little song and dance routine at the beginning of every show was hilarious.

    Ellen? Meh.

  16. shelley Says:

    Here y’all go…hideous outfits from last night…beginning with dear little Kirsten…blech

  17. Shrew tired of buying wedding/shower gifts Says:

    Okay…not to change the subject…but yet another friend who is ten years younger just got engaged.

    1. When will it be my turn
    2. Last year she hated this guy
    3. When WILL it be my turn
    4. This is the 5th one in the span of 12 months
    5. Wen will it be MY turn?

  18. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I just wrote a response to you Shrew and it went bye-bye!

    I’ll try again:

    I’m with Carrie from Sex in the City: I want to have a “I’m NOT Getting Married” shower. I’ll register for gifts (like the Cuisinart mixer I’m not willing to pay for) and invite all my married friends…whose showers (marriage and baby) that I’ve spent thousands on (collectively) over the years.

    And they better not bitch about it.

  19. ruhappytoseeme Says:

    Happy Birthday!!!!! I hope you have the best birthday! the video is AWSOME!!!

  20. Hatson Says:

    Shrew…..Relax. Where are you looking for someone? O.K. that is none of my business……but the quality you want may not be where you are looking. I always told my daughter’s that anyone can get married. The important thing is maintaining their standards. No one has to settle. Back in the day we had biological clock issues that are changed today. Marcia Cross just had twins at 44. A friend got married at35 and just had her third child at 43. He may fall from the sky figuratively speaking. If marriage is what you want you will get it. Somewhere a guy is saying the same thing. I have sons and 4 daughters who are married now, each wondered along the way when will it happen for me? Meanwhile continue to be the best person you can be for yourself. Sheesh, I am preachy for a stranger, but I know how sharp you really are. Hang in there, and be happy for your friend!

  21. Shrewspeaks Says:

    I think you for your kind words. At 38, I have had my fair share of “being happy for my friend”s and I did just want to rail just for a few moments here. Between work and personal life, I have spent a small fortune on Showers, weddings and babies and so to have my 5th in 12 months was a bit much and I knee jerked.

    As for “finding” mister right…I will take a page from Bama’s book and refer back to Sex and the city. Believe me I am out there and I am trying…it ain’t that easy…and the older one gets…the less options you have.

    I thank you for your kindly meant support.

  22. Chaos Says:

    I am relatively new here but I am happy to say, HAPPY DAY SHELLEY!

    Bama…I was thinking of the exact same Sex In The City episode as I read Shrew’s post! Great episode and great reference.

    Right on Hatson. I get it Shrew. I am also unbelievably single.

    Thoughts in the head of Chaos..

    Of course I’m awesome. That’s why I’m single. Guys can’t handle this much of a good thing in one package. It’s cool that he didn’t call… I only gave him my number because I felt bad for him after my fourth tequila. Was that why he came over to talk to me? Was I the one that needed the feeling bad for? Nah… couldn’t be. He wasn’t really my type anyway. He probably has a girlfriend. Yeah… That’s it. What kind of guy is that anyway? To be hitting on someone when you have someone. Must be nice to have someone to go home to. I wouldn’t know… It’s been so long. Wow… (doing math in my head) Has it really been that long? Long enough to give up searching for that cuddle buddy and buy myself the heated blanket. Which even that is getting a little worn out. *Sniffle* At least I can always count on Ben & Jerry. Good friends. Maybe their why I am single. I have put on a few pounds…No spring chicken anymore. *Waaaahhhhhhhh* I’m so sick of being single! *Sniffle*

    And so it goes. Shrew, I am sure you are a helluva person and society sucks. Hatson was right. If you really wanted to be married you would be. I pride you for not settling for “good enough”.

  23. jenfera Says:

    I wish I could remember who it was last night in a truly hideous dress. She wasn’t in Shelley’s link. She was a presenter for something. The dress was gray and drapey and bagged right above the knee. Bleeeeyaaaaah.

    And I’d also just like to mention if I was Jennifer Hudson, the first words out of my mouth in the acceptance probably would have been, “Holy h*ll, George Clooney just kissed me!”

  24. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Bwaaahaaa Jenfera! Hysterical

  25. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Chaos- Hilarious! I’ve had the same conversation with myself once or twice.

    Hatson- I’m always telling myself that I could be married if I really wanted to…but I’d have to let go of everything I ever wanted in a man to accomplish that! (Actually I had a chance to marry a wonderful man…but he wasn’t the right man for me…so he married one of my best friends instead.)

  26. Hatson Says:

    You people are really thought provoking. What is your ideal? Has that picture or list changed since college? Can he be a bit overweight, divorced, have children, be a “blue collar” worker,be slightly bald?? What? Do you want him to love music and or sports, cry in movies, drive a great car, take you to art shows, museums, or cook dinner for you? Maybe all of the above. What would he have on his list looking for you? Talk among yourselves!!!!!

  27. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Hatson…great question…I guess what I am looking for is my best friend who is also attracted to me.

    I have had men be attracted to me, but not be good to me.

    I have had male friends, but are not attracted to me.

    I have never had both in one man. That is what I am looking for.

  28. shelley Says:

    Eva Green was the scary-looking chick you speak of jenfera.

    I think you can see the top of the dress here.

  29. ridearoundsally Says:

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHELLY!! Have a good one! and rememeber..37 isnt old!! (for a tree..hehehe)
    Luv ya

  30. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hatson: For me, I would never try to define a man by looks. I definitely, absolutely have to be attracted to him…but I have no set stereotypes in my head. I have been/can be attracted to bald, balding, gray-haired 😉 men. I like “full-figured” prolly more than thin…but have been attracted to both. With chemistry…you just can’t define what will work and what won’t with different men.

    As far as morals/hobbies/character traits…yes, I have a lot of things I would like or hate in a person. The hate list is much smaller so I’ll just give you that:

    I hate when men are overly angry and agressive. I hate pettiness, arrogance, superficiality. I can’t stand it when men are workaholics, men that hate animals, men that belittle and make fun of others…men that are overly vain.

    I understand that men can be/will be insensitive, childish, etc. That’s fine by me. I can work with that!

    I’m 34 and most men my age are married. The single ones are interested in my 25 year-old best friend. I’d date a divorced man…but I really don’t know any.


  31. KD Says:

    Happy Birthday Shelley, from a fellow 37 year old! 🙂
    May this year be the year you find yourself blessed with what you’re looking for. 🙂

    *waves to fellow Monkbots*
    Hi everyone! 🙂 I’m a little busy these days, but am still peeking in when I have a free clicking finger. Love to all!

  32. jenfera Says:

    Thanks, Shelley! She’s the one. I found a full length pic and I have indicated the offensive bagging area.

  33. Chaos Says:

    Wow Hatson…

    Simply put, if I knew exactly what I wanted in a man, I would be working harder at finding “him”.

    I have lived a helluva life, thus far, and when it comes to love, of any kind, I am rather jaded. The only “love” I have ever known has always presented an ultimatum…What price I was willing to pay to be loved. What part of my soul, character, ethics, values, integrety or morale am I willing to sacrifice to be loved? I had the man that flew me to Vegas, Mexico and Australia on a whim. The weekends up north, the unbelievable meals, the Versaci dresses, the hot cars. It was whirlwind fun, but in the end, I was not the “arm candy” that was to be seen and not heard. I have had the man that had virtually nothing and loved me immensly, but just couldn’t understand why I would want to pursue an education and career when Wal-mart was hiring. I have known every man in between.

    I think, ultimately, any woman with any self-respect or depth, (Which I am SURE is everyone here), just wants to be loved for who they are, uncomprimised, not what they can or can’t bring to the table. My friends and I call that guy “the twenty”. To get down to the nitty-gritty, my “twenty” looks way different than my friend’s “twenty”, but ultimately, each one of us seeks our elusive twenty. And damnit, we deserve it. I have applied the million dollar theory to love. I have never seen million dollars or held it in my hand. But having heard enough about it, I have a tendency to believe it exists.

    “I’ve never fallen in love-though I’ve stepped in it a few times.” -Rita Rudner

  34. Chaos Says:


    (Chaos just realized that she is way off the subject…sorry guys)

  35. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Chaos- That’s not off topic at all! Since Shelley “freed” us to talk amongst ourselves…then we are cool to talk ’bout whatever. Oscars…men…kittens. Whatevah!

    Love yer “million dollars” analogy. Very true…very true.

  36. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Where’s DD??

  37. double d Says:

    Here I is…trying to find a reason to go Downtown to find that Big Blue Bus…

    I want everyone to find their “somebody”. While I have a “somebody”, Chaos is right, he’s not everybody’s “somebody”. But, we are best friends and we have our own humor that only we “get”. He’s not perfect and I could just pinch his head off sometimes, but he tries and he listens and I know he loves me. I want ALL of you to have that…in spades.

  38. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Amen DD…That is what I am looking for.

  39. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Chaos…God love ya…I so want to go drinking with ya gal!

  40. Hatson Says:

    Yes Virginia it does exist, but as double d said men are not perfect. Now of course there are character traits that are always unacceptable, but there are others you can live with. Men can improve just as we can. Now, I don’t want to say that chemistry is not important, but just because there are not instant fireworks it does not mean that cannot happen as your relationship deepens, Haven’t you met people who although your 1st impression was not too good ended up being a close friend. We want our spouse to be a best friend, but I believe that can also come with time and shared life experiences not necessarily early on.Thanks for sharing your deepest thoughts on a difficult and personal subject.

  41. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Trust me…the men need to hear what you are saying…not I…I am accepting of flaws…it is they that don’t want to even talk with me because I am not the ideal.

  42. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hatson- The man I almost became engaged to was a very good-looking, wonderful man. I had ZERO attraction to him. I spent nearly three years of our relationship (friendship/romance) feeling like a worthless piece of whatever b/c I couldn’t generate chemistry with him/for him. I tried…he tried. I sank lower into a self-berating depression…he fueled it by telling me I was a “bad Christian” for being so superficial. It was awful by the end.

    So, I know what it’s like to hope that chemistry will heat up after awhile…but I know waiting can be just as damaging as missing out on someone b/c you aren’t instantly attracted.

  43. bamaborntxbred Says:

    And, seriously, if I have one more friend who is in a marriage with a man that they now-or when they were first married-desperately want/wanted to “be with” tell me that it all “fades with time” blah blah blah…I’m gonna go off.

    Why the hell can’t I have fireworks? They did. At first. I know things fade…but give me a break…if they are faded before you even start…sheeesh.

    I’m holding out for what I want. Especially b/c I’m not asking for anything special…or for more than what I’ve seen my parents (both sets) have…my siblings have…my friends have.

  44. Chaos Says:


    (Chaos is mixing up a fine batch of Strawberry Margaritas)

    Bama…I will toast to your post.

    I agree about chemistry become more intense over time. But I believe that initially, there has to be that…Well..How do you describe it? I have been with guys that I really didn’t see myself with at first. But being the forever optimist I am and a fan of the underdog, I went back to make sure. Needless to say, it hasn’t worked out well, because here I sit…by myself. I’m not sure it’s love at first sight that I am thinking of, but I believe there has to be something intruiging that makes you want to come back for more. I believe that also ties into the long term chemisty of it. There will always be something there that keeps you coming back for more.

  45. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Thanks Chaos…can you put double tequila in my ‘rita?? Preeshiate you!

    Hatson- Hope that didn’t come off as too…umm…crazy-maniacal or anything. I’ve just been there…done that.

  46. Chaos Says:

    BAMA…You have just initiated quote time…I love quotes…

    “I have loved to the point of madness, that which is called madness, that which to me is the only sensible way to love.” -F. Sagan

    “It is remarkable how similar the pattern of love is to the pattern of insanity.” -Merovingian

    Shrew’s ‘Rita is starting to melt…

  47. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Chaos…Don’t know what you are talking about?

    *stares at the empty glass in her hand*

  48. Hatson Says:

    Ok, time to talk about kittens! Obviously everyone has had a different experience with love, and yes 3 years is plenty of time to generate chemistry. You are not wrong to want the fairytale! No wonder we all enjoy Ben and Jerry. They know what we want….. Cherry Garcia and Phish food.

  49. Chaos Says:

    I personally enjoy B&J’s Chunky Munkey…(hee-hee)

    Shrew…Sorry about that…You didn’t show and I just couldn’t let it go to waste…Here’s a fresh one for ya…(Chaos is attemping to cram fish bowl through computer screen)

  50. Shrewspeaks Says:

    Hatson…It’s all good darlin’ Like I said I loved the support.

    Hey, can we gather all that ice cream and make a cake?

  51. leejolem Says:

    Shelley, Happy Birth-Tay to you!!! Hope it has been a great one. Thanks so much for sharing so much of your life with us this past year. Love ya Monkbot sistah!!

  52. Quossum Says:

    Happy Birthday, Shelley!!!!

    Your friend,

  53. suzi-q Says:

    Shell, what a great video gift from your fellow monkbots. I thought about the year of laughter and tears that was TALK and has evolved to MONKBOT TALK the best blog and most enlightening and hilarious blog on the WWW:) Of course I’m bias but that should be expected from the mother of the original monkbot that was definitely THERE on this day 37 years ago:) What a celebration of life you are Shell and I love you for it! Keep on keeping on and remember the crabs in the bucket! Happy, Happy Birthday!

  54. Shrewspeaks Says:

    I love Suzi-Q! MommaBot!

  55. holeigh Says:

    Alright, so now I look like the ass who is refusing to wish you a happy birthday or something, haha. I got back to school late and have been at class til 3; that’s my story and I am sticking to it.

    Now: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHELLEY! You have been like the big sister I’ve never had for the past year, and I love you so much for that. I hope your day was absolutely fantastic. 😀

    And how ironic…you and my dad share the same birthday, hehe.

  56. Gray Charles Says:

    Happy Birthday,

    You’ve made my life a living hell – but in a good way.

  57. double d Says:

    Awwww, what a sweet sentiment, Gray.

  58. shelley Says:

    A warm and fuzzy from Gray…my birthday is complete.

    Seriously, everyone, y’all made my day wonderful! Thanks.


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