Allow Me to Judge the Judges…Simon, Randy and Paula Leave a Lot to be Desired

by

Before I get down to the nitty gritty of what went wrong and what little went right with the performances on American Idol tonight…please allow me to take a minute to cast the spotlight of critique on the biggest duds of the evening…the judges.

Actually, I don’t even feel comfortable calling them judges anymore. In the course of an hour, they barely eeked out definitive opinions, and nothing they said remotely resembled a verdict or helped me as I formed my own decision on the performances.

Randy has reached a non-clarity of Abdul proportions.

Paula was as evasive with her true feelings as my fiance of five years who would never set a wedding date.

And Simon…oh, Simon. I never thought I would say this…but…he needs to grow a pair.

Clearly these three are allowing the media and public opinion to drive which thoughts they decide to verbalize…and, honestly…that’s not fair. They are supposed to be there to give insight from the industry perspective…as professionals who have the ability to be forthright and honest…because they actually are supposed to know what they are talking about.

But when they just sit there and ramble or simply dole out praise just to keep someone from gaining sympathy votes…it takes away from any shred of genuineness the show has left (and, trust me, they don’t have a lot of play there).

So…Randy, Pauler, Simon…if the words of this Monkbot ever reach your eyes…please realize that you’re not in those seats to keep your butts warm…you’re there to work.

Now…on to the Idols.

Blake Lewis took on “Mack the Knife.” He didn’t really slow the tempo down like guest coach Tony Bennett suggested…but that didn’t matter. Blake was amazing. Tonight awarded him his best vocals and truest pitch of the competition. I loved his moves and how he worked the stage. He took a song that I really love and made it even more fun. The only thing his performance lacked was…a smile. The guy really needs to turn the corners of that cute little puss up and give us a smile every now and then. That said, he’s safe.

(Interject a plug on “Idols Give Back,” and I have to say the event is looking to be phenomenal. I’m wondering if Taylor Hicks will make an appearance…being the philanthropist he seems to be.)

On my first listen to Phil Stacey, I have to admit, I was getting my spaghetti out of the microwave so, after hearing him from a room away, I made an initial call that he was saving himself with quite a fine performance of “Night and Day.” Then I got a text from Bama who said she didn’t like it, and the judges reamed him (with their rare moment of actually judging last night). On my second listen…I have to say…after careful consideration…I was right in the first place. I thought he did a beautiful job. I thought this was one of his best performances. The problem is the guy does not generate a warmth in his face or stature…and folks are looking at that. I think everyone should listen to Phil whilst either fetching spaghetti or typing a recap. But since most folks were on their couch, watching the performance and not eating s’ghetti, I also think he may be in danger this week.

I almost hate to write about Melinda Doolittle third. She deserves the finale spotlight. The girl can wail. I can’t see her NOT winning this thing. I absolutely loved this performance of “I’ve Got Rhythm.” Loved her look. Loved her singing. Loved. It. Loved. Her. She’s my American Idol, whether she stays or goes…but she’s staying.

Chris Richardson took on a tough song, “Don’t Get Around Much Anymore.” It started a little rough, with some definite pitch problems. But I gotta admit, the guy pulled off, with probably his best performance thus far in the competition. He gave it a carefree, youthful feel. I loved his interpretation and his look. Great performance. He’s safe this week.

I swear…I’m totally telling you the truth when I say that I completely forgot about Jordin Sparks‘ entire performance by the end of the commercial break that followed her rendition of “On a Clear Day.” There was nothing about her or the vocal that stood out. She was in tune, but that’s about all I can say for it. I fear she might end up in the bottom three this week.

Gina Glocksen sang “Smile” and expressed it beautifully…of course, that song would be hard to not sing without emotion. The lyrics, the phrasing, the melody all lend themselves to pull on heartstrings. But as an overall impressive performance, I can’t say Gina did the job. I think she’s safe…but who knows?

Sanjaya. Sanjaya. Man, I really love this kid. He looked good this week. And he sang much better than he has in recent weeks. However, he had just as many bum notes as good notes on “Cheek to Cheek.” He sang with more confidence and gave it a good effort. But this was where the judges really upset me by NOT giving actual constructive criticism. He deserved at least that…not condescension. On an up note, I really loved the sign in the audience that read “Sanjaya is my Papaya.” Wha..? Huh? And he’s a fun guy-a…and really fly-a.

In a seafoam green sequined gown, Ariel sprouted a pair of 10-foot long gams and crawled from the fathoms below all the way to the bright lights of a stage…on the Carnival Cruise Lines. Haley ScarNOTo is pure pageant/cruise line/hotel lounge/Disney princess cheese. She absolutely murdered a song I love and love to sing…”Ain’t Misbehaving.” picture-1.pngGambot stunk like a dead fish in the sun. Sorry, Coop…but I calls ’em as I sees ’em. Her timing, her delivery, her pitch, her showmanship were all about how she looked. She could have done TONS with that song to make it work and she totally botched it. I think this really may be the week Ariel regrows her tail and swims away. (Or maybe she’ll eat a poisoned apple or get locked in a tower…I settled for any happy ending.)

Last one of the night…was LaKisha Jones. I definitely think the bloom is off the rose with LaKisha. She spent the first third of the song out of tune. Why do R&B singers think they have to stick those damn runs in everything they sing? Some songs…like “Stormy Weather”…just don’t need it. I hated Kiki’s rendition. She’s safe this week but I have to say that if she doesn’t take notes from Mindy, the gap between them is going to begin to widen as their competitors begin to drop off.

Entertainment Weekly – for the first time, Slezak and I are at odds on almost every contestant. Clearly…HE is wrong.

About “Dancing with the Stars”…I have three four comments:

  1. I’m so glad Shandi is gone.
  2. Watching the pros dance to “Eye of the Tiger” sung live by Survivor was possibly the most bizarre thing I have ever seen.
  3. If Ciara is going to perform again…on any show…I hope I know in enough time to set my VCR…to tape something else. Horrid.
  4. Please let RuPaul compete next year. I’d give anything to see him paired with Maxim.
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93 Responses to “Allow Me to Judge the Judges…Simon, Randy and Paula Leave a Lot to be Desired”

  1. Hatson Says:

    One word……….YAWN!(For the show, not the review)

  2. jenfera Says:

    Shelley, did you crawl into my brain last night? Because I agree with everything you said here. I was only half-paying attention to Phil (I had my eyes on my computer) and I thought he did great. And I don’t like Phil at all! I was stunned when the judges didn’t like him. Jordin was forgettable. Mindy-doo was great! And KiKi – well, that dress was dang distracting. I’d say the only tiny hair I would split with you is that I’d rather see Blake win than Mindy-doo. I just think I would enjoy Blake’s CD more, and obviously he’s good eye-candy.

    And, I actually did vote last night! You can tell the fever pitch from last season has died down. It was so much easier to get through this year than last year, or even the year before. I voted for Blake, quite easily, 20 times or more. And for good measure, I called in a few for Mindy and Gina.

    As for the judges, all I can say is that Paula looked really cute last night, because that is about the most constructive thing they can say about anyone.

  3. Shelley Says:

    Oh, Jen…if I were basing this on the artist I’d actually buy a CD from…it’d be Blake…hands down!

    Or Sanjaya…I can’t decide. πŸ˜‰

  4. KD Says:

    Hi all!
    *she says dragging herself up from the depths of piles of laundry, dishes, and dirty diapers to comment briefly*
    So, I’m with Shelley on the judges—pretty sad really. I think I was most embarrassed for Ariel. All she got was a dress and legs comment…talk about a kick to the self-esteem. She’s not important enough to warrant even one comment about her performance. I wonder how many performances she’s cried after? I’m beginning to feel sorry for her. 😦
    And then there’s Sanjaya…living in fantasy land and taking everyone along for the ride. Reminds me of Peter Pan…stealing kids off to Sanjayaland. Sorry Shelley, but I think it’s painful to watch him. I just don’t get his appeal. Even his “brilliant smile” is a bit creepy to me. Sweet kid, but—-
    Still loving Melinda and Lakisha—
    gotta run. crying calls.

  5. jenfera Says:

    I am hoping that Jambalaya’s slicked-back ‘do sends him home, just like it did for Ace last year!

  6. shrewspeaks Says:

    Okay…
    The judges really did disapoint me last night. They forget they owe not just the contestants something but the veiwing audience. if they are being paid to be there and are bored with it all why in the hell should we care about the show?

    Blake – I am going to have to agree with… (insert patent protected AI dramatic pause here) …Slezak on this one. Mac the Knife is an awesome song that lends itself to ferocious performances (I am trying to find Raul Julia’s version somewhere). I get the feeling that Blake didn’t understand the lyrics or he is stuck in as big a box as Mindy Doo and Lakisha because his rendition missed the bite that is so needed for this song.

    Phil – interesting…I had to listen twice…once not watching and once watching. Listening – he sounded really nice. The smoothest I have heard all season. Watching YIKES. And there is Phil’s real challenge. He has no visual magnetic charm (unless you invite him in to your home, then get out the garlic, holy water and have a wooden stake handy).

    Melinda – technically correct…but tonight of all nights she was the one I expected to be blown away by…Why can’T I like her?

    Chris R – I kinda liked it. He was peppy and on beat feelin’ it. He took a nice stylized approach to it. Way to go, keeping true to the boy band genre with a standard!

    Jordin – She has taken big risks the past two weeks. This week…she presented a stable performance. If you say you don’t like it fine, but allow me to illucidate. She has more color in a safe performance than some others have in a throw down performance. I lik-ee Miss Sparks.

    Gina – Oh Gina, Gina, Gina. See it comes back to pale imatation of a rocker…She really does want to be a bit of a Diva. Imagine if she had dressed as a rocker and sang SMILE acapella? What a raw interpretation that would have been. Instead she tried to gloss up…I found it disapointing.

    “The Hair” – After the dizzying heights of last weeks Pony-hawk..The tresses decided to play this week slick and demure. Coiffed to be taken seriously, yet the springing ends at the back of the neck betray the sentiment. What is next week country? Shall we see faux-mullet?

    GamBot – Can you really blame her for throwing tude about the condesending comments when she just followed “The Hair”? That being said…girl had NO idea what she was singing about. If Gambot wants to be judged on her voice…WEAR PANTS. (Sorry Coop)

    LAKisha – Okay…first…this was my second favorite performance by her. Loved her emotion and dead on understanding of the lyrics! Pouty lips at the end need to stop though and a stylist picked that dress? But here’s the thing…I was chatting with Jenfera during the show and I speculated what Kiki was going to sing. I nailed it…why? Because I thought what song was made iconic by an african american woman…Lena Horn, Stormy Weather…the obvious choice. And that is where Miss LaKiki is letting me, herself and the world down. She is not only in a box…but within that box she isn’t even imaginative. You Madam have lost my backing unless you break out of the mold!

  7. jenfera Says:

    It’s true. Shrewbie dazzled me with her spot-on prediction!

  8. leejolem Says:

    Shelley, I too am annoyed w/the judges. It’s as if they are just “phoning it in” and aren’t even listening with an attentive ear. When they cut away to the judges during a performance Simon is usually fidgeting or cutting up with Pauler. My other pet peeve is that they have singers they like and that they don’t like and they base their comments on that fact and not the performance. For example: 1. Gina– I thought she was vocally as good or better than Jordin tonight, but they never can cut her any slack. They want her to be “rocker girl” like female Chris D. instead of just being herself. 2.Phil–Simon says his performance was gloomy, if someone else had performed that way he would have called it brilliant. Shelley, I too told HC4S that if you closed your eyes while listening to Phil it was so much better. I thought his performance was outstanding (reminded me of Harry Connick, Jr). I think he had the best male vocals, but I’m afraid he’ll be gone cuz he puts you in mind of a sci-fi character or vampire.
    3.Melinda–Let me preface this by saying I think she’s great, but Simon has lost all perspective. Why doesn’t he just ask her to marry him? If I were another contestant I would resent the constant fawning of the judges.
    4.Jordin–I think because she’s 17 they are easier on her than let’s say, Gina. Maybe I’m wrong. I like her, but I thought this performance was boring.

    Shrew, “If Gambot wants to be judged on her voice… WEAR PANTS”–priceless!!!!

    DWTS, I’m so glad John R. stayed around. Bye bye Miss American pie! I hope Leeza “botox” Gibbons goes home next.

    I just reread all this–man I’m in a bitchy mood today.
    p.s. I would so buy a Sanjaya cd. (maybe he could do a duet with Kevin Covais).

  9. leejolem Says:

    p.p.s. Survivor rawked! Maybe next week Divo will perform (not Il Divo, but Divo!).

  10. Gray Charles Says:

    Did I mention that my nephew bears a striking resemblance to one of the contestants?

  11. Shelley Says:

    that’s an uncanny resemblance…or resemblake…whatever.

    can he beatbox? πŸ˜›

  12. Gray Charles Says:

    He’s related to me, of course he can beatbox. A better question – can he beatbox in time and in tune? Answer: Doubtful

  13. Shelley Says:

    I’m thinking…audio blog of Gray’s beatbox.

    who cares if it’s in time and in tune

    it’s all good.

  14. double d Says:

    Lee, that would be DEVO….

    Oh, and Phil gives me this vibe.

  15. shrewspeaks Says:

    Now see I agree with Dave White he gives me this vibe

  16. ruhappytoseeme Says:

    well I love mindy, I vote for her every week and my daughter votes for blake, would love to see those 2 in the top 2 at the end. other then that Ive seen some I like go home while Sanjaya still stands and even makes fun of it all, sighs, I think hes a cute kid and would do well in a movie for teens maybe (a disney movie would suit him really good) but I dont think hes up there with some who have left recently. Ive told my fiancee (who doesnt watch the show, jsut buys the tickets to go to the concerts) that I dont want to go to the concert this year, I just think that after last year this years talent leaves a lot to be desired, plus I dunno if I can sit thru sanjaya for that long, I just dont get his appeal. I thought he was much better in the triouts then since the regular performances started (top 24)
    I like lakeesha but dont think shes been quit as good as usual in the past 2 weeks, the rest are ok but I really want to see doolittle win, shes already my idol pick for the season, but ya never know what will happen in this competition.

  17. leejolem Says:

    DD, I had it spelled that way then edited it–it’s been too many years!
    Note to Phil: put on a hat or toupee next week, or sing something from Phantom of the Opera and wear a partial face mask.

  18. Shelley Says:

    Okay…I’m laying down the law…

    Let’s remember to snark but be kind.

    Phil ain’t my fav, either, but he can’t help how he physically looks.

  19. double d Says:

    Yeah, after all, Phil does have cute kids. Seems as though none of the 9 left really “fit” to me. MAYBEEEEEE Blake (a/k/a Nephew Chris), but the rest of them seem SOOOO out of place. Hard to describe it. Sorry Coop, but Scaley goes home tonight. bu-bye.

    **lightbulb goes off**

    HEY! Wait a minute….could Gray’s nephew Chris, be “Charcoal”? Was that Gray’s cryptic message as to the new guy’s secret identity? Perhaps I have been too long without a good “conspiracy” and so in need of one that I am taking WAY too big a leap here, but in the immortal words of Bugs Bunny, “Ummmmm, could be….”

  20. double d Says:

    BTW, anyone else notice the black band on Chris’ left wrist?

    Jus’ sayin’….WHAT is that about? Is it some secret man society like Skull & Bones?

  21. Claire Says:

    Gray, your nephew is a cutie. Is that a Thing he’s playing with in the photo? (heh). And dude, you can beatbox??? Audio proof please….

    I won’t see Idol until the weekend here, but none of the contestants except Melinda and sometimes Lakisha have really GRABBED me this year. The rest to me are really just meh. Although I do like Beatboxin’ Blake, that takes hard work and not a little talent.
    And the news story about the girl on hunger strike until Sanjaya gets kicked off made the news over here!!! Fancy that….

    OT, I got my new car today (well, new as in 2003 reg) and am doing crazy overtime and losing my voice at work. The Strike Lives On!!

  22. leejolem Says:

    Let me clarify–The voting public seems to not be able to see past Phil’s appearance. I think he’s fine to look at, but I wish he would smile more. I think he would do better w/America and the judges if he looked more like Blake– they are shallow that way. (note Scar-not-o’s rank when she wore the less revealing outfit went down)

  23. Shelley Says:

    That’s a good point, Lee.

    I read somewhere on the Web months ago (and if I weren’t so lazy, I’d look it up)…where there is a school of the arts that has potential music students audition for admittance before a panel of professionals, while standing behind a screen. This is done so that the panel can only judge on what they hear.

    I think that has a lot of merit.

    However, as we know, it’s not all about being technically perfect. Look at Elton John…look at Taylor Hicks…look at Janis Joplin. None of their vocals are ever technically perfect, but they evoke so much emotion AND they give (gave) amazing PERFORMANCES.

  24. double d Says:

    Ok, so everyone’s ignoring me. Fine. If Bama were here, she would “talk” to me.

  25. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Shelley you should award yourself the “Official Prize of the Day” for that video!! That was AWESOME!!!

    Here’s my take on AI last night: With the exception of Chris R., Blake and Melinda….it was just kind of poopy. I mean that in a ho-hum kind of way.

    I’m just living for the day that Ryan tries to beatbox again…

    Claire-Bear: I’m so sorry you are being overworked! Hopefully you aren’t being undervalued too! Congrats on the new wheels! Woo-hoo for you-hoo!

  26. shrewspeaks Says:

    Great topic…I don’t even think it has anything to do with being imperically attractive. Mick Jagger is not what you would call esthetically beautiful, nor is he known as a master singer, yet through his physical magnetic charms he has become a sex symbol adored by millions.

    I actually believe Phil has the best voice of the men at this point, yet he can not translate his audio powers to a viewing audience.

    And that begs the question…Are Phil and Haley in the same category? Each missing a key ingrediant that makes an Idol winner.
    To be an Idol what is the equation of success…How many parts charisma, looks and singing talent is there needed?

  27. shrewspeaks Says:

    I am not ignoring you DD…I am just still trying to figure out “charcol” and what it means? Can you esplain?

  28. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hi DD! I’m here now. I had a big ole lunch meeting today. I won a weekend night stay at a luxury hotel in Dallas at it…so it didn’t stink too much. However, I live in Dallas…so why do I want to stay in a hotel here? Maybe I’ll give it to my Mommy and Daddy.

    I didn’t notice Chris’s wristband…hmmm…I’m going to look for it tonight to see if it’s a “thing” he does…

  29. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Shrew, I think Phil is missing the “likability” factor…and I don’t think he’s a great singer. Actually I think the same is true for Scaley (good one DD). And, she’s annoying. Also-neither one of them have much of an identity as a performer….they are just waiting to be put through the “Pop Idol” machine and spit out the other side as Supah-stars!!

  30. double d Says:

    Ok, you guys is on a whole ‘nuther plane.

    Get on the GRAY plane…..Gray’s post…nephew….Chris….wearing a black band on left wrist.

    Charcoal is the new/temporary? blogkeeper at GC.

    BAMA – Congrats on the hotel stay….do I smell Monkbot road trip?!?

  31. shrewspeaks Says:

    I am an idiot…just noticed Charcoal now…V8 moment.

    How about this for foil…is it a coincidence that Sligh was voted off the same week as Finito 2? Hmmmmmm

  32. jenfera Says:

    Good eye, DD! Gray’s nephew Charcoal Chris is wearing a familiar looking wristband! Must be some sort of Shades-Of-Pewter Cult symbol.

  33. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Ohhhhhhh! Duh! I’m kind of slow DD. You know this already…

    Umm…I have no comment on the GC intern/nephew dealio. However, I certainly hope that if Gray is in some weird cult or secret society…that he would choose one that was open to females and monkeys as well as men.

  34. double d Says:

    Or, it could just be the humidity and my hormones interferring with the Libra Dragon waves….

  35. Shelley Says:

    Um…guys…I think we need to put away our tin foil hats on this one.

    The picture was simply a picture of his nephew, Chris…who just happened to be wearing a man bracelet. I’ve got a 25-year-old guy in my office who wears one MUCH similar to that and he’s not even CLOSE to being a Taylor fan…so it’s not a conspiracy…just a fashion trend.

    As for the Charcoal thing…I seriously doubt it’s Chris (Gray’s nephew). I think it’s probably someone who is wanting anonymity while running the site. My guess would be the name “Charcoal” is a play on the different shades of the color of gray.

    I don’t think there is too much deciphering to do on this.

    But what do I know?

  36. Claire Says:

    Shelley – you are The Oracle.

    You Know All… πŸ™‚

  37. Shelley Says:

    Run, Atreyu, run!

  38. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Shelley- I was kidding. I’m not a conspiracy theorist except if we are talking about “The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll”.

    Maybe I should add a disclaimer to my “funny” comments…that way people get me and can tell me over and over how hilarious I am.

  39. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I love The Neverending Story.

  40. jenfera Says:

    I like tinfoil. It’s shiny.

    Bama, I will tell you how hilarious you are if you tell me how hilarious I am!

  41. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Jenfera- not only are you hilarious, but you are also sooper smart and real, real purty too.

  42. Shelley Says:

    I think everyone of you is hilarious.

    I’m just grouchy today. To quote Dwight, “I’m PMSing pretty bad.”

    (Was that too much information? Sorry.)

  43. Gray Charles Says:

    It’s only a conspiracy if you don’t know whats going on.

  44. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Not too much info. I’m actually in a good mood for once this week. I’m not all gloom and doom over the future and how I’m never going to make anything of my life and how I’m sitting still while the world speeds by me….and stuff.

    Today…I’m just feelin’ groovy. I think it’s all the brownies I ate a lunch…and maybe the punch was spiked….

  45. double d Says:

    So much for fun and frolick. Back to the fascinating AI discussion, please?!?

    **pissy is as pissy does**

    I am the Queen of Hormonal, babe.

    (I’m also playing…..)

  46. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Well, I fer sure don’t know what’s going on with “The Pussycat Dolls” show. I mean, that girl they sent home last night….sure she couldn’t sing…I mean, the girl couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket (shout-out JT!) but she was hot. And isn’t that what the P-Dolls are all about?

  47. jenfera Says:

    Bama, you make me snort-laugh on a regular basis, and you are obviously beautiful because you have naturaly curly hair, just like Frieda.

    And, I hang on your every brilliant word!!!
    πŸ™‚

    Awwww, poor Shelley! You need to watch that Scranton Party video a few more times.

  48. Shelley Says:

    I sure do, Jen.

    I’ve already cried (literally) today…to my boss…about being afraid of crime in the city.

    A. Complete. Mess.

    I knew there was a reason I wore my eyeliner on my lids today…I must really be an oracle for sensing that I was going to cry today.

    Um…Gray…

    It’s only a conspiracy if you don’t know whats going on.

    What the *&$# did that mean?

  49. Claire Says:

    Yay for Bama and her home-town hotel stay!! Hey, why don’t you go to your hotel and then go do the touristy stuff that locals never do in their hometown? If I could fly to Dallas, I’d make you take me to Southfork (please don’t tell me that the ranch is actually in Alaska or someplace – too cruel.)

    And please – I have enough conspiracy talk at work lately to last me a lifetime. Tinfoil is the tool of the devil. That and Dialup. And turnips. and working in a hospital.

  50. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Heehee! Jenfera likes me!

    Yeah Shelley! And did you give yerself the “PoD” for that video? I told you too!

    Here is your unofficial PoD from me: Cute widdle otters.

  51. shrewspeaks Says:

    Gray since you are reading…Pray tell the real dirt about Charcoal/Nephew……..single?

  52. shrewspeaks Says:

    Bama did the hotel stay come wiff room service delux?

  53. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I would be willing to be a Monkotter.

    Claire- Southfork is much closer to my house than the hotel. However a day at the Arboretum and some of the museums downtown would be great! Maybe I’ll do that….

  54. Gray Charles Says:

    Shelley, LOL

  55. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Shrew- it does have room service! And there is a 4-star restaurant and a great bar!

    The Melrose.

  56. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Now THAT was hilarious, Gray. LOL.

  57. Claire Says:

    Gray, WTF? LOL.

    JMHO. πŸ™‚

  58. Shelley Says:

    rolls eyes to the extreme at the total assiness of Gray

  59. shrewspeaks Says:

    OOOOOH Bama…you so need to go the pamper yourself route! Do they take wee fuzzy ones?

  60. shrewspeaks Says:

    Yeah!!!!…feels like old times with Gray pulling Shelley’s pigtails and Shelley kicking sand on Gray’s white sneakers!

  61. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Yes they do Shrew!! My poopers would be in the lap of luxury! Maybe I’ll order them steak for dinner!

    Shelley! Quit ignoring me just because Gray is here! Watch the damn otter video NOW dangit!

  62. double d Says:

    Man, now my eyes hurt.

    Did somebody say BAR? I’m in dire need of one.

  63. bamaborntxbred Says:

    DD-get the Monkcopter and get here stat! I’ll make sure you’re good and liquored up ASAP!

  64. jenfera Says:

    I wuv the widdle otters!! I did the awwww-AWWWWW noise at the same time as the person in the video did.

    Extra deluxe cuteness!

  65. shrewspeaks Says:

    bar…….

    Bar………….

    BAR……………………….?

    When.Where.What time?

  66. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Shrew- DD can pick you up with the copter! There are 5-6 bars within spitting distance of where I work! Haaaaapy Hour!

  67. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Jenfera- aren’t they adorable? I’ve decided I want otters for my birthday. They can live in my bathtub.

  68. shrewspeaks Says:

    I am sobbing ’cause it is only fantasy

  69. double d Says:

    Here is my Shelley makes Gray wimper fantasy.

  70. Shelley Says:

    And Bama gets the Official Prize of the Day for the cutest video evah!

  71. shrewspeaks Says:

    DD—Bwaaahaaahaaa

  72. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Awwwww thanks Shelley! I never knew otters were so cute.

    I love it when I scream and throw a temper tantrum and people listen!

  73. jenfera Says:

    Bama, if having otters in your bathtub doesn’t shake up your life, I don’t know what will.

    (Picturing Bama picking up guys in a bar, “Would you like to come back to my place and meet my otters?”)

  74. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Okay…now I just spit water all over my desk with that Image, Jen!

  75. leejolem Says:

    I think a good pick up line for the monkbots is “Liebe meine abschmenke”–translated=Love my monkey”. I think it has a great ring to it. I don’t know otter in German.

  76. shrewspeaks Says:

    But Lee don’t forget the bot part….”abschmekeBot”

  77. Gray Charles Says:

    I’m hooked on a non stop merry go round where the only ticket you need is success

    Apropos of Nothing

    (link to “Beyond the Valley of the Doll” trailer removed)

  78. Gray Charles Says:

    Everybody’s Got Something To Hide

  79. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Gray- you’re such a weirdo….I love it.

    Would you like to come meet my otters?

  80. shrewspeaks Says:

    Link to “Beyond the Tub of Otters” trailer removed

  81. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hey. They’re just holding hands Shrew. Very “G” rated. My lil otters are good people.

  82. shrewspeaks Says:

    Bama … πŸ˜‰

  83. Hatson Says:

    A Ticket…….. Gray Charles said Ticket! It’s a clue, remember the Golden ticket Thread from bygone (who says bygone really?) days!

  84. leejolem Says:

    How about “Liebe meine Uncle Abschmenke-bot” in honor of Gray?

    (Lee sits crying quietly in corner cuz she’s at work trying to finish a project before her 2 days of vacation, and she can’t view any of the kewl links/videos/otter films (edited)”

  85. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Orrrrr that could just be a line he’s quoting from the trailer….

    At least that’s my conspiracy theory for the day.

  86. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Lee- it’s not otter “porn”!!!! I just wanted to post a sweet little video of otters holding hands. Now, it’s degenerated into their good names being besmirched all over the internet!!

    (The preceding comment was dramatized for effect.)

    I’m outta here guys. Must go home and prepare for “America’s Next Top Person That Becomes Tyra’s Dress Up Doll” and the bloodbath that is sure to ensue on AI when Sanjaya makes it through another results night.

  87. HicksChick4Soul Says:

    Finally…something postitive about sanjaya!!!!!!!!!!!

  88. double d Says:

    So is Gray “gone to Hollywood”????

  89. Gray Charles Says:

    I really don’t know why I linked to that Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls thing. Too weird. What was I thinking?

  90. jenfera Says:

    Gray, if we knew what you were thinking, we could all be out making money as fortune tellers.

  91. Theresa Says:

    I think I wrote this last week, but American Idol has been hijacked. Between Haley’s legs and Sanjaya’s hair (yes, I realize that doesn’t sound too good), the better singers are being passed by. Why do I care? I don’t, but it’s annoying.

  92. patrickkaddiddlehopper Says:

    Now…everybody has spoken their piece about Scar-hot-O right? Okay good. She may have slightly undersung a song but hey…did you see her point at me when she sang? Heh heh. And for once I actually agree with what Simon says! How amazing is that?

  93. Dr. Bob Says:

    Coming to MB after a hard couple of days is like a sigh of relief — the otters were adorable, the banter witty, the videos fab.

    Great write-up Shelley — I agree with most of what you said. But I sped past most everyone (did I mention that I llllluuuuurrrve Tivo?), and therefore have no legitimacy as a critic. The judges are a complete waste of time.

    PKDhopper, sorry, but Hayley was a train-wreck. She actually flounced at one point. I don’t think that the song calls for a flounce.

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