What a Year a Difference Makes


Man…this time last year I was near heart-attack frenzied with excitement and anticipation. Kat? Taylor? Kat? Taylor? Commenting like a fiend at Gray’s. Giving a play-by-play in chat about the American Idol Season Finale.

But this year…I got home late from work…completely nonplussed about the night’s event. I was more eager to dig into the leftovers I had brought home from the catered lunch at the office…complete with banana pudding…mmmmmm.

So, to be honest, as Ryan gave his signature intro…”This…is A-MER-ican Idol”…all I could think was…meh…as I put the pudding in the fridge and sat down to watch the show.

I think back to the beginning of Season 6 and have to wonder…how much more vested would I have been if the likes of Tammy Gosnell or Sean Michel had staid in the mix?

Don’t get me wrong…the battle of the divas had me tapping my toes more than once this season…but there was nothing that truly wowed me…nothing that made me clamor for a blog on either LaKisha or Melinda or hunt down all their tracks for downloading as soon as the show was over.

And though I’m extremely grateful to one Mr. Gray Charles for his interim here at Monkbot this week (the fawning gratitude post will come later)…I can’t find it within myself to support his belief in Jordin. To me she was all over the map all season. Her ballads were heartfelt…but, man, anything that had a tempo above a waltz was pretty much a fiasco.

And then there were the guys. If only they had performed with half the chutzpah they had during tonight’s finale…maybe the season would have had more za-za-zing. But, sadly, they didn’t…and hence…the season didn’t.

As for sweet little Blakeypoo. Okay…so he had consistency issues, too. But he also gave some of the more memorable performances outside of Sanjaya (though I hope he doesn’t put that on his resume). Whether folks liked it or hated it…his “You Give Love a Bad Name” was a total show stopper. And it speaks highly of him that his cover of Maroon 5 had more than one person thinking that maybe the band should 86 their current lead and offer the job to Mr. Lewis.

So with all this sawing of logs this season…we entered the finale tonight with little curiosity or wonder about the outcome. Partly because everyone knew Jordin would win…and partly because…who really cared?

Even the asinine “hosts” of Idol’s horrendously self-indulgent red carpet show (which, by the way, made me long for Billy Bush…something I thought would never happen) were thirsting for original questions for the stars on the carpet because no one wanted to “buzz” about who would win…well…except for Simon who was so pompous that he gave Jordin a congratulatory kiss in advance. Cheeky monkey.

Though this was the worst red carpet show I’ve ever watched, I will say the jewel of the interviews was when Paula admitted that, through this past season, she was not ever able to remember the performances and songs after each week’s show…which pretty much summed up how the nation viewed the show, too.

The theme of the night seemed to be “The Beatles,” and Jordin and Blake started the show with a duet of “I Saw Her Standing There.”

Poor Blake. Poor, poor Blake. As if it wasn’t bad enough he was congratulated on the red carpet for “making it this far” instead of “good luck” for the win…he had to serenade Jordin with the first song of the night…chosen, I’m sure, with her in mind.

“She was just 17…and you know what I mean…”

I will say, though, Jordin and Blake were tons better than Kat and Taylor’s “You’re the One that I Want” last year. Probably because the chemistry between the Season 6 finalists was so much more exuberant than the Season 5 finalists.

The first guest spot of the night went to Gwen Stefani, telecast from her tour concert stage. She looked great and sang “4 in the morning”…but I could swear she was lip syncing.

Next up…Kelly Clarkson, singing her new song, “Never Again.” Um…I didn’t quite get it. She sounded good…but the song was pretty rough, in my opinion. Oh well.

Again this year, AI used the ruse of “Golden Idols” to make a mockery of those who were previously mocked on the show. This year’s awards went to:

Margaret Fowler for “Best Presentation.” This woman grosses me out beyond belief…dressed all in yellow with feathers flying. However, the kiss she planted on Ryan that knocked him to the stage was a side-splitter.

Sholandric Stallworth for “Most Original Vocals.” Zzzzzzz….

Jonathan and Kenneth for “Best Buddies.” I wanted to care…but then I decided to not.

Finally, we got a performance from some of this year’s offed finalists. The top six guys came out in white suits and sang a harmony so tight that it could fit in a Sucrets box. I was amazed at Sanjaya and Chris Richardson. And I was even more thrilled when Smokey Robinson walked out and all the guys danced in unison behind him. It was truly a beautiful thing.

Blake followed that performance with one much different…but just as impressive. He beatboxed with Barry B and Doug E Fresh. Now, I have to admit, this isn’t my preferred choice of music, but I found this piece to be incredible. Plus it really made me appreciate Blake even more. Hearing how talented he is with this beatboxing and realizing that he made it to the finals in the country’s biggest singing competition shows that he’s a pretty savvy guy…and one heck of an entertainer.

The top six girls came out next and sang with Gladys Knight…and I slipped into a coma. Sorry…I refuse to recap this…it was bad. Almost as bad as the disgusting faces Constantine kept making in the audience all night. (Will someone please hand that dude a few coupons to Chuck E. Cheese or something so he’ll have something else to do but attend every single Idol function?)

Please allow me to clarify…I was speaking about the girls’ number as a whole…it stunk like the pile of wet fish I keep by the computer. The arrangement was terrible. The pacing was awkward. The girls didn’t gel anywhere near as well as the boys did.

However…Melinda, Gladys and Lakisha were great…I totally agree. (I had actually written an entire paragraph about how much I love Gladys…but then thought it would take away from how much I disliked the girls’ medley…so I deleted it.)

Tony Bennett sang next and I zoned out again. But then the guy wailed at the end of his song and I actually perked up. He was pretty amazing…and he’s what…150? That’s a true entertainer, right there.

Finally…we got to hear a song by the Season 6 American Idol…I mean…by Melinda Doolittle. She sang a trio with BeBe & CeCe Winans (with whom she used to sing back-up). She looked thrilled and was in great form. All three sounded fantastic, and I loved it. She was so robbed this year!

The Ford commercial…a montage of bloopers and outtakes from all the rest of the Season 6 commercials…was the best of the season. And after the commercial, Jordin and Blake were each awarded their Ford mustang.

Carrie Underwood came out and sang “I’ll Stand by You”…but I really hope she won’t stand by me if she continues wearing that incredibly awful prom dress/blue jean combo. Hideous. I guess she’s allowed to wear such atrocities since, if you haven’t heard, she’s the biggest selling Idol artist ever (6 million U.S. albums). Clive Davis certainly doesn’t mind if she stands by him…that is…as long as she’s earning him money.

And after Idol finished patting itself on the back for a job well done for earning millions of dollars and selling millions of albums…we were treated to a performance by some of the poorest people on Earth (irony or just bad judgement…you tell me). The African Children’s Choir ran onto stage with more jubilant glee than I’ve ever seen on any Idol stage. These kids were the highlight of the show, in my opinion. Not only did they sound wonderful…they were smiling and singing with joyful abandon. And all I could think was how torn I was. On one hand, it pained me to think these kids live in country where desolation and illness and poverty and death are a part of every day…so I wanted for them to be here, in America, where they would have a shot at a good life. But then I thought…look at them. They are beautiful and joyful (or at least putting on a good act). It would be a sin for them to come over here and become as jaded and sullen as the rest of the nation.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to agonize over the children for long because the next act was up…and it was a doozey. Sanjaya, Joe Perry, and the crying girl made their finale appearance together. This was possibly the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen…and I couldn’t take my eyes of the T.V. Perry was wailing on his sexy guitar while the new Toxic Twin, Sanjaya, sang “Girl, You Really Got Me Going” to a 12-year-old blonde cry-baby…who was sobbing just as hard as she did the first time on the show (one has to think Nigel Lythgoe must have stuck a thumbtack in her seat or something because, really, no one can cry that much over Sanjaya…no one).

Back to the Beatles…or at least John Lennon…with Green Day covering “Working Class Hero” to save Darfur.

Now I have to stop here and say something bold…something outrageous…but something totally true. American Idol’s Season Finale may be largely fluff and silliness…but it’s becoming a music event that, in my opinion, truly rivals the Grammys or AMAs or even MTV awards. Part of the appeal of this show is in NOT knowing who will be performing…just like the Green Day tribute song (which was absolutely wonderful)…not having expectations in the finale makes it almost impossible to be disappointed in the show. Plus, the variety is unparalleled…Tony Bennett, the Winans, Joe Perry, Green Day, AND Sanjaya? That’s a pretty radical mix…but it worked.

Back to the recap…

It only took forever, but Taylor Hicks finally made his way back to the Idol stage…singing his new single, “Heaven Knows.” He did great. I love the song. I thought he looked great. He sounded great. He was energetic and infectious. He played his harp. He interacted with the band. He did his trademark dancing, and he even gave a shout out to the Soul Patrol. We really couldn’t have asked for more…well, except for Bama who texted me, “I want Taylor to win again.” But, now, I feel I’ve watched him come full circle and I have nothing but enthusiasm for his next recording project…since he’ll be somewhat untethered by the whole AI shebang.

Jordin and Ruben Studdard came out and sang “All I Need to Get By” and did a great job. It was a little weak in parts…but it definitely trumped Meatloaf and Kat’s debacle last year.

Whoa…from out of nowhere…Bette Midler showed up, singing “Wind Beneath My Wings.” But, I don’t know, dawg, she was a little pitchy…I think Tony B. brought it more than the Divine Miss M tonight. (But it was obvious that Jerry Springer loved it…dare I say…he was this year’s Hasselhoff?)

And in what I’m sure was supposed to be a major coup…all the previous Idols (except for Fantasia because she was unavailable)…took part in a tribute to the Beatles’ “Sergeant Pepper.” However, other than Kelly’s knock-out performance with Joe Perry and Taylor’s wonderful input in this piece…it all kind of fell flat at the end. Carrie and Ruben were boring…and the Season 6 Idols who took the stage were all a bit lifeless. I think last year’s appearance by Prince FAR outweighed this number…but what do I know.

Finally…the moment arrived that no one was waiting for…the announcement of Jordin as this year’s winner. She sang “This Is My Now,” and Blake looked happy for her. Her parents looked happy for her. Everyone in the audience looked happy for her. Heck, I guess even I looked happy for her…but then I realized the real cause of my smile…

I still had a serving of banana pudding in the fridge.

So, I got up, turned off the t.v., and headed to the kitchen…knowing the madness would all happen again, starting in January…and knowing…(my smile growing bigger)…it would all happen again…but without me.

Entertainment Weekly’s Write-Up


156 Responses to “What a Year a Difference Makes”

  1. Alison B. Says:

    I’m so with you Shelley.

  2. rowan Says:

    Yaaay! Thanks so much for this fabulicious post, Shelley! Hope that banana pudding travelled well (jellis.)

    It was great to have all the details of the show so vividly and hilariously described. So cheerful to Read about Taylor triumphant – lookin forward lots to seeing him on Friday. Yo!

    That photo rawks, btw. Hee hee!

  3. Hickstyeria Says:

    Good to have you back Shelley. Great recap.

    I dipped in and out of the show, waiting for Taylor to appear. I don’t think this finale was as good as last year’s but I agree that it’s becoming an event. I suppose if Clive calls you and asks you to be in the audience you have to agree which is why there seemed to be so many celebs there this year and artists on the roster. I liked Gladys, loved Ruben but was disappointed with Bette. And I thought I was the only one thinking that Springer should now be known as ‘The Spring’…

    I thought Taylor did well; he delivered what was expected and, despite some angst in comments here earlier and at the Boogie Board, I think he did well. He may not have been introduced but I think that was the intention, including his. The audience called out and screamed almost as soon as they saw him and for any who didn’t immediately realise it was Taylor, they soon did and he got them involved and having fun – Paula was up on her feet as she always was when he was a contestant. I was glad he played his harp and some of the words of the song seemed so apt as an expression of his whole A.I. experience – “Heaven knows I tried’. I thought he did a great job on ‘Day In The Life’.

    Clive is all about business so what he said didn’t surprise. I think his comments about Taylor and Kat were not as bad as they initially seemed but would have been better said separately and not as part of the Daughtryfest. It would have been nice too if Ryan had said ‘That was Taylor Hicks singing Heaven Knows from his platinum-selling album’ after Taylor had finished. We all know why he didn’t. Simon always said Carrie would be the biggest selling Idol ever and it seems he was right. I thought her voice was off tonight and she is undoubtedly talented; I just can’t help feeling she is really a Stepford Wife.

    Kelly forged her own path and Taylor is doing the same. The A.I. win has been bittersweet but I doubt he would ever regret the win. None of us should either since we got to know him and his music as a result. Even Ruben and Fantasia, though in many ways more low key Idol winners, have found their way through the maze – Rueben looked and sounded so fine tonight and yet I doubt his albums will ever achieve stellar figures. Nonetheless, he looked like a star and Taylor explodes on stage – he has such amazing presence just on TV.

    True talent ‘will out’ as they say and now the madness has subsided, will the real Taylor Hicks please stand up?

  4. Hatson Says:

    Welcome back Shelley…….loved the sub but missed you! Hope everything is good. The African choir was my favorite part. I also thought the guys sounded great . Why couldn’t they have chosen better themes and music. They all sounded great with the right song choice. We do need a variety hour that is clean and has a wide range of music like tonight. I mean what are the odds most of us wiil see Gladys Knight, Smoky Robinson, or Tony Bennett in concert? We might see Bette in Vegas(I agree she was not at her best tonight), but many other performers may not appear near us. I did like Taylor saying Soul Patrol. I guess he is not embarassed of us..LOL

  5. Alison B. Says:

    I forgot to say welcome back, Shelley! See what a night spent watching this year’s finale has done to my brain…

  6. Laurita Says:

    Shelley, so great to have you back running the show (not that having Gray sitting in on a regular basis wouldn’t be very cool…) Hope all is well with you now..

    I have to disagree on one thing: I loved Melinda, LaKisha and Gladys Knight singing together on that top 6 ‘girls’ number, “Midnight Train to Georgia”… I could have listened to the 3 of them for hours… what would be even more amazing would be those three segueing back and forth with the extraordinary CeCe & BeBe Wynans.. I loved Melinda and the Wynans… I’m ready to buy a ticket for any solo show Melinda does in CA…

    I wanted to throw bricks at the TV when Clive was pimping Daughtry and Carrie, and totally dissing Taylor.. ugh… Thank god Taylor rocked the Kodak big time later with a super “Heaven Knows”, and a bit of the Beatles (weird seeing HK without his band… I missed Melanie on those vocals…) Jesus, he blew that harp, though.. hot.

    One other weird thing in that Sgt. Pepper’s segment was Ruben doing “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds”… Him and psychedics just don’t cut it somehow.. Green Day (the guys are all my neighbors here in Oakland, where they grew up!) did such a great thing honoring John Lennon and Amnesty Int’l and the Darfur heartache situation… good for them…

    P.S. I heard that ‘the crying girl’ was hired off the auditions set of “…Smarter than a 5th Grader” to be in the AI audiences, and that she’s a great little actress! it’s all so strange…

    P.P.S. At the end, I was already envisioning Taylor coming back even more triumphantly at the end of NEXT season, and continuing to blow AI audiences away at every finale in future years…

    P.P.P.S. You def. got me on the banana pudding…

  7. c4tay Says:

    A great big DITTO from me to you, Shelley, on everything you said, except the part about Melinda, Gladys and Lakisha. I enjoyed their part, but so agree with you on everything else you said…even down to the pudding tonight..except mine wasn’t banana, but still good. Enjoyed Gray’s time here with us, but so nice to have you back. Hope all is well.

  8. brc Says:

    Welcome back Shelley. You were missed. Thank Gray for us for sitting in. He did an okay job of keeping us all interested and on-topic 😉

    Stefani… definitely lip-synching. And what was with that dress?

    Clarkson… just okay but at least she was rockin’ unlike the rest of the show.

    Golden Idols… embarrassing. manipulative as always. shameless.

    Blake beatboxing… not my type of music either but I recognize that it was very cool and contemporary. He showed off his talents and set himself up for whatever recording contract is a comin’ his way now.

    Gladys and the girls… have to disagree. I loved this. Thought Gladys’ voice was amazing and soulful. Wonder if she and Tay caught up backstage?

    Melinda and the Winans… sorry Shelley I disagree again. Well maybe I was too involved in monkbot chatter and didn’t pay attention, but I thought this was a snore. And Melinda was my favorite this whole season. Bad shiny dress too.

    Carrie Underwood … agreed. She’s a Stepford Idol.

    African Children’s Choir… so cute. so full of enthusiasm. Your point is well taken

    Sanjaya, Joe Perry and Crying girl… puhleeeeeze (lol at the “thumbtack” comment.)

    Green Day… Sorry Shel. I disagree here. Maybe I was too nervous about when Taylor would come out but I didn’t groove on this one. And I like Green Day. I see your point about it being a musical event, but I was VERY disappointed in spite of no expectations and didn’t feel the mix of talent worked very well. (Please don’t get the wet fish out).

    Taylor. Ah… Taylor. Except for Leno I have cringed every time I have seen him perform songs from the album on TV. I thought this was fantastic. I still think (see previous thread) that he looked like a contestant without a band surrounding him, but all in all I felt a sense of redemption for him.

    Bette Midler… maybe her leather skirt was too tight ’cause she was having some trouble hitting her notes. And it’s such a smarmy coronation-type song.

    The Beatles medley was a missed opportunity in my mind. I agree that Kelley was great. Taylor was fine. I just think they could have used a jolt of up-tempo-ness. So slow. Why all the ballads?

    So another year of idol is over. If I hadn’t been having so much fun on monkbot chat I think I might have turned off the TV completely.

    Oh yeah. the winner… well who really cares who won anyway?

  9. Shelley Says:

    Please allow me to clarify…I was speaking about the girls’ number as a whole…it stunk like the pile of wet fish I keep by the computer. The arrangement was terrible. The pacing was awkward. The girls didn’t gel anywhere near as well as the boys did.

    However…Melinda, Gladys and Lakisha were great…I totally agree. (I had actually written an entire paragraph about how much I love Gladys…but then thought it would take away from how much I disliked the girls’ medley…so I deleted it.)

  10. blueberry Says:

    Welcome back Shelley.

    I didn’t get to see the first hour of the show, but didn’t miss Taylor – yeah! And he sure did a fine job! And the harp….before him, I didn’t know what I was missing with the harp.

    The African Children’s Choir was the best part for me, such joy on their faces and in their movements!

    I know I’ll go back and catch Melinda’s song, if only, because the comments have gotten me curious. What I saw of her during the season I really enjoyed.

    Missed the Clive comments and that is just as well, unfortunately his commentary is meaningless to me. I like that he is, in part, responsible for occasionally introducing the country to talent we may not have been exposed to and then, I have no more use for him. That is sort of cold, isn’t it?

    Happy for Jordin, I personally don’t get her. I think she has a beautiful voice, but I like my singers a bit raw. But it’s all good. Although it all seems anticlimatic this morning, guess I’m just comparing it to the excitement I had last year. I’m thinking along the same lines as you Shelley, I think this AI has run its course for me – time to move on.

  11. double d Says:

    Shelley — you pretty much nailed it.

    Personally, I didn’t get the “theme” of the show and it was sooooo zzzzzzz for most of it. Tony Bennett was great and I did like Gladys. Green Day, not so much. Maybe it’s Billie Joe’s guyliner.

    I must say that Carrie was really off key on all of her “contributions”. Also, she was visibly embarrassed by Clive Davis using this forum to award her the magic 6 million award….what is that sextuple platinum? He never did say exactly what the award was and it sounded like “I’m-Clive-Davis-the-big-cheeze-and-I-own-these-peeps-so-I’m-
    Blecht! And the Doughtry pluggin’ was shameless, as well.

    As for Jordin….I just don’t know. I can see them hype her up for this next year and she may even have a “hit record”, but long term? It’s been done. Jus’ sayin’.

    Oh, and did anyone notice who was conspiciouly missing? ***. While I know that Bo didn’t perform on last year’s finale, I didn’t think that AI would miss an opportunity to pimp their little darlin’.

    Glad it’s over. I didn’t watch seasons 1 & 2 and only parts of this one, but of the seasons that I did watch, this one was a snoozer. Simon and the crew saying that this was the best talent they’ve had really hurts their credibility and just confirms to people that it’s all smoke and mirrors….and money.

    As for Taylor, I think he was semi-great. Not over the top, standing O great, but certainly deserved to be there on the same stage as Carrie, Rueben, and Kelly Clarkson. Hey….maybe he’ll hook up with Kelly and they can have AI Soul Patrol Breakaway Chirren.

  12. huckleberryfriend Says:

    Kelly scared me. She kinda looked like Kelly Osborne.

  13. KD Says:

    I actually have a life to live today, so I won’t be around much! 😉
    But I wanted to say welcome back Shelley! And DITTO everything you said!! I agreed with every word this morning. Have a great one!

  14. jenfera Says:

    I was thinking that maybe AI sort of outdid themselves at Idol Gives Back and it made the finale anti-climatic. But the thing that really stood out for me was the difference between last year’s contestants and this year’s. Think about the Tobacco Road medley last year (minus the Don’t Stop part) – those six guys were wildly entertaining without a guest star to prop them up. I kept thinking how this year’s group were all great – as back up singers.

    I agree with DD that Green Day was a bit of a snoozer. Certainly no Prince level of excitement there.

    I was thinking more about Carrie, and maybe with Kelly there belting her heart out it just made Carrie so pale by comparison.

    I really enjoyed seeing Taylor. While watching, I would have given that performance closer to an 11 on DD’s scale, but in the harsh light of morning I’ll back it down to a 9. He did sound a little out of breath in parts, and his little pause (did he forget the words?) before “Won’t you cut me some slack?” sort of deflated what could have been pretty butt-kicking.

    The worst part for me was my husband in the other room, going on and on about how much better Chris was the night before, and berating me to agree with him. What is with Chris fans?

    As for next year, I am sure I will watch. Come the middle of winter I will be dying for some entertainment, and I won’t be able to resist the pull of Ryan. I’m sure I will hate parts of it, or I will get bored occasionally, but it generally makes for some good water cooler fodder.

    Oh, and during our little chat last night I liked DD’s theory that perhaps the Devine Miss M was maybe mocking the whole show with that song choice and her not-so-great performance of it. If that’s true, that is some serious funny right there.

  15. Dr. Bob Says:

    Shelley!! Hey and good to see you. I only got to watch part of the show, because my five year old switched the tivo to Sponge Bob Square Pants. Grrr. Anyway, I saw part of the last hour. You were spot on — but I loved Melinda and the Winans. I agree with brc about the distractingly-fitting shiny dress. I had the same problem with Carrie’s outfit. When the camera pulled away from her, I thought that she was wearing a sheer dress and we could see her legs through it and thought that my grandmother would have thrown a fit because she was not wearing a slip. It took about five seconds to realize that she was wearing a weird combination clothes. Jeans and prom dress, indeed.

    I thought Taylor did well, but felt a little sad at the “won’t you cut me some slack” lyric. I am sure that I am projecting all over the place. However …

    The Beatles thing was weird. My husband kept saying in disbelief, “are they going to sing the whole album?” Weird. Did I say that I thought it was weird?

    Regarding the African Children’s Choir. I can’t watch things like that because I have such mixed emotions. On the one hand, I am happy for the kids, because I am sure that it is a momentous event for them, but it feels sort of creepily self-congratulatory and pseudo-altruistic and kind of exploitive. And I feel bad for feeling that in the face of the genuine joy on the face of the kids. I really don’t know what to say about it. It makes me feel funny to have children from a poverty-stricken environment perform for some of the richest, most self-indulgent people on the planet. It feels a leeeetle … not Bread and Circusish, but something akin to it. Dunno — I think that I am supposed to feel something much different and I end up feeling manipulated and sad. Because after the show, the kids are placed back in their “AI Gives Back” folder to be forgotten for another year.

  16. double d Says:

    I am now firmly convinced that The Divine Mrs. M was snarkily mocking AI and it’s processes. I think the “little bird wing hands” gave her away. In my twisted, albeit logical little mind, Bette chose the cheesiest of cheese (we’re talkin’ Velveeta over Swiss over Brie) songs EVAH and purposely sang it off-key and flat. (I mean, Bette can kick it when she wants to.)

    She is a Clive darlin’ so she doesn’t fear any repercussions from a stunt like this and she really doesn’t have a career that she’s worried about anymore, so really no risk. But I caught it, Bette. I got your little joke. And I thought it was divine.

    I can just picture her and Clive laughing their patooties off back stage about it, knowing most people thought it was serious and would be fawning over her on the red carpet after the show about how great she is/was. Perhaps a bit of obtuseness? I think I’ll go and purchase her Greatest Hits as a thank you.

  17. texastaylorfan Says:

    Hi, Shelley. Welcome back.
    I agree with everything you said, except the part about Gwen Stefani looking great. I couldn’t decide if she looked more like a bumblebee or a popsicle.
    I thought Taylor blew everyone else away with his performance. I’m glad for him to start his next chapter.
    Hope all’s well for you. Last day of school here, so it’s busy, but I had to check in. I knew you — or the guest blogger, either one of you — would have a great, entertaining recap of last night. And you did.

  18. bamaborntxbred Says:

    I’ll check in later, but for now, I have this to say:

    Kelly Clarkson and Green Day RAWKED!

    Peace out.

  19. double d Says:

    You Tube is my friend. How did I miss Randy and Paula dancing? Typing I suppose. heh.

  20. baby duck Says:

    I missed you, Shelley. Glad you’re back at the helm.

    I’d rather have an American Idol finale show that featured just the contestants. It’s fine to have “A Name” singing with the kids, but I don’t want or need Gwen Stefani, Bette Middler, Green Day, and who all else as featured performances. A show that featured more of the Top 12, and the previous Idols, would have been better, more in keeping. Now that there’s the successes from five previous seasons, it wouldn’t be hard to fill 2 hours with some good entertainment by AI alumni. Of course, more Taylor would be just fine, too. Just fine.

    For fear of treading in dangerous waters, that includes the IGB show. If Jennifer Hudson had sung ‘I’m Not Going’ instead of Rascal Flatts singing whatever, would it have been less entertaining? Would there have been fewer donations? More time could have been spent featuring how previous contestants are involved in charities, sort of showcasing how Idols Give Back because of the success they’ve had due to the show. JMHO.

  21. Soulkaren Says:

    Dear Taylor,

    I went back to my old school once too.

    I remember how small the hallways felt – the ceilings looked so much lower and the rooms felt cramped. I saw the locker where I used to put my lunch box every day. I couldn’t remember the combination.

    The smells coming from the cafeteria were the same…stale fishsticks and gooey mac and cheese, but I wasn’t hungry for that any more.

    It just felt different being there.

    I looked at the front of the classroom where I used to give my reports at mid-term, and it was hard to believe I once stood there, trying so hard to make a good grade on my report card. Trying so hard to impress the teacher and the other kids…

    I tried to sit at my old desk. I didn’t fit.

    Did the desk seem really small to you too, Taylor? Yeah, I thought so.

    Remember the year you were the team mascot and you went around everywhere representing the school and the team and answering all the questions about who would win State that year? Remember that last year when you won Homecoming King and you got your picture in the hometown paper?

    Isn’t it amazing how important all that was once, and how you’ve moved on?

    I stopped in to see the principal…still the same old geezer. Still sitting in that tiny cramped office with the coffee rings on the desk and the school trophies all displayed behind him on the glass shelf…He looked up and nodded and tried to remember my name, but it was lost in the cobwebs of the past. I was once a big deal in that school, but his mind was now on the new kid who just got transferred that day and how he was running late for a meeting…

    But somehow it didn’t matter anymore.

    And then I realized that it wasn’t the school that had changed.

    It was me.

    I’d gone and seen the world. I’d studied and learned and experienced life. I’d met new friends. My life had a center. My days were full.

    I just didn’t need that school anymore. It was time to go.

    I walked down the dusty hall, turned and waved one last goodbye, and walked out the door.

    And as I got into my car, I suddenly remembered that exhilarating feeling I used to get every Spring on the last day of school as I rushed out to start my Summer filled with fun…

    …and I spread my arms and shouted to the wind…


  22. double d Says:

    Awww….Our boy is all growed up, all growed up.

  23. Claire Says:

    I said this over at the Boogie…I heart Soulkaren.

  24. brc Says:

    Does anyone know when his legal ties to AI end? I mean does his “contract” end with the new champ?

  25. Shelley Says:

    I know we all were so glad to see Taylor perform…but let’s not spiral into a discussion all about him.

    shelley is cruel and evil and manipulative

  26. Claire Says:

    *waitin for the looooooooong Sendspace performance link to open before she can give an informed opinion about The Finale. Contemplates reading War and Peace first. Or at least having a couple of kids.*

  27. jenfera Says:

    double d, your youtube link isn’t working.

  28. PattyP Says:

    I think it’s very interesting that over at the Television Without Pity forum for Taylor, the comments thus far have been pretty positive about Taylor’s performances last night. People there are saying that they never really “got” Taylor before or could take him or leave him, but last night, they thought he was pretty damn good. So, not only did I as a Taylor fan think it was a good performance, but apparently it was the right type of performance to win over some more fans, and that’s at least in part the point, is it not?

    I hope this helps the sales of Taylor’s CD, even though I know that it’s not all about the numbers. (Well, unless you’re Clive Davis, apparently, in which case, it is ALL about the numbers, and about not trying to write your own songs, because that obviously sucks.)

    In my dreams, Kelly Clarkson and Taylor Hicks went out and had drinks together at the Viper Room after the show and poked toothpicks in a little Clive Davis voodoo doll. Clive, who clearly is still upset that Kelly Clarkson chose to write her own songs for her new CD, is really getting scary, attacking his own artists like that with hardly any attempts at subtlety.

  29. PattyP Says:

    Oops, sorry, Shelley! Just saw your comment. Okay, then — Blake beatboxing with Doug E Fresh was cool, I suppose — I don’t go for that kind of music myself, but I thought it was well done.

    I don’t get songs like the one Melinda sang with the Winans, and apparently, from the look on his face, neither does Simon, but I thought Melinda’s voice was the best of the 3.

    I liked the Beatles medley… all of it. And I had forgotten what a wonderful voice Ruben has.

    And I agree, the AI finale has become just about as big as the major music awards show, if not bigger. The people in the audience and the performances are testatment to that.

  30. Shelley Says:

    no apologies necessary…we can talk about taylor…just not ALL about him.
    i’m looking for balance not eradication.
    your comments about clive attacking his own artists was very apropos. i hadn’t realized that until this morning…and it’s really true.
    for all my complaining about the cushiness of the music industry i guess i need to step back sometimes and realize how truly cutthroat it is.

  31. double d Says:

    Does the contract ever end? I mean, Kelly Clarkson despises AI and she seems forever tethered to “the franchise”. Taylor may have actually played his cards right, or at least may benefit from, by being neglected by the AI machine.

    Personally, I hope that Taylor can maintain a career touring and organically growing fans. At some point, I’d love to see him create his own production company and mentor up and coming artists, using his experiences and knowledge to ensure that they get a fair chance. If more artists would do this, i.e., Tim McGraw, Quincy Jones, the music industry might move closer to the way it ought to be.

  32. double d Says:

    Sorry, let’s try that link again.

  33. brc Says:

    Ah dd…. I’ll say it again. You need to start your own company. You have so many good ideas. Taylor (sorry Shelley) could really use an out-of-the-box thinker like you on his team.

  34. leejolem Says:

    To me it was a weird night. For some reason it seemed to be missing the joi de vivre of last season’s finale. The highlights were Taylor’s performances, the boys group sing with Smokey and Sanjaya with Joe Perry (sans the crying girl). I loved Lakisha, Melinda and Gladys. For some reason I thought Lakisha was superb! Many of the contestants seemed free from their shackles and performed better than on the show–Brandon,Phil, Chris R, Sanjaya, Lakisha. The boys’ harmony was beautiful, and almost convinced me to go see the AI tour this summer.

    Does anyone else find it strange that Kat didn’t perform? Gwen has already been pimped, and if I were a Kat fan I would feel cheated that she wasn’t on.

    Melinda and the Winans rocked the house.

    Jordin and Blake’s duet-semi hideous. Clive’s speech–totally hideous.

    Dr Bob–I too thought Carrie had made a horrible undergarment faux pas then realized she had jeans on.

  35. leejolem Says:

    Did anybody else think the whole bush baby named after Simon thing was just weird.
    **note to AI you can’t be schmaltzy and cruel at the same time**

  36. Claire Says:

    Ok, the link was just about to open last time I posted.

    Heaven Knows – A bit breathless/nervous sounding at the start, teeeeeensy bit pitchy, dawg. But he pulled it together well, even surrepticiously dropped a couple of lines while he clapped with the crowd to catch his breath. Me likey. But I did miss the big-ass sound of his band. Something was missing, sound-mix wise, IMO.

    Beatles – Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Mmmm-mmm. You nailed this one Taylor. Yes indeed. He sounded great.

    And Kelly C sounded fan-freakin-tastic! The link cut off after Taylor, so I didn’t hear any of the other Idols. 😦 😉

    I can’t discuss the rest of the show with y’all, ‘cos it hasn’t been shown over here yet. Not till Saturday. The good folks at the Boogie came through with Taylor’s pieces (God bless Gypsee and Blondi0001).

    Welcome back Shelley!

  37. jenfera Says:

    Ah, thanks for the fresh link DD. I didn’t notice Paula & Randy last night either. And now that I have watched that again, I am 100% convinced of your theory. She was hamming it up good for fun.

    leejolem, I am trying to remember if Bo performed on last year’s finale. I don’t think so.

  38. Mr. Reality Says:


    Excuse me while I interject some much-needed truth to some of the off-base postings:

    1) Gwen Stefani was NOT lip-synching. She was singing the future smash “4 In The Morning.” It was basically a 3-minute course in miracles as to what a true pop star is.

    2) Kelly Clarkson’s fiery performance of “Never Again” is proof that the first AI crowned an evolving artist and not a pedestrian bar band singer (guess who) or vacuous producer’s puppet (guess who).

    3) The special awards to trot out the audition mental cases was irresponsible and palpably uncomfortable for the audience. The “Buddy” award was especially appalling. And Ryan Seacrest should be banned from darkening the doors of BriteSmile for life for agreeing to display that real bush baby as a joke. It was cruel and disgusting.

    4) Melinda Doolittle’s showcase with BeBe and CeCe Winans is proof that she was meant to be a background singer.

    5) Bette Midler was awful. And I hardly think this woman is so above it all that she purposefully loused it up for a viewing audience of 20-30 million. She’s an incredible talent, yes, but she’s no stranger to collosal bombs (pick a movie, see her short-lived sitcoms) or bad performances.

  39. Claire Says:

    Pedestrian bar-band singer?

    Mr Reality, have you SEEN this particular atist sing live, at one of his own shows? Or heard any recordings thereof?

  40. Shelley Says:

    Mr. Reality….I’m renaming you…

    Mr. I Live in My Own Reality

    Gwen called me last night and TOLD me she was lip synching.

    Taylor Hicks will always be a bar-band singer…but what’s wrong with that?

    Pedestriatian? Hmm…please tell me what bars you frequent…so I can enjoy more of the same.

    As for Melinda…no, not at all.

  41. blueberry Says:

    Mr. Reality – really now. You ought to know better. There are some descriptions you just don’t use here!

  42. Theresa Says:

    I hate it when Mr. Reality is right. He is wrong on one point, though. Taylor Hicks is an evolving artist; my collection of his music through the years (1999 to 2007) proves that he is definitely an evolving artist and will continue to be.

    Am I the only one who thought Carrie’s jeans and dress-thingy was way cool. I’d wear it, too, if I weren’t 46 (and not any type of celebrity).

    I just tried to find downloads of last night’s performance (legal ones, anyway) and can’t find them on iTunes nor AI’s main site. I loved the duo with Doug E and Blake; that was good! I’d also like the Beatles montage just to study it a bit more. I went to a viewing party at a loud bar, forgot to Tivo the event and couldn’t really hear the audio very well at the party.

  43. leejolem Says:

    I keep remembering other highlights of the night:
    1.Sanjaya’s own personal wind machine. If I thought he would have a wind machine on the tour that would seal the deal for me–I would buy a ticket.
    2.The African Children’s choir–the joy they brought to the stage almost cleansed my palette of the Golden Idol awards (did I mention how muched I missed the singing cowboys this year? It seemed sweeter and less mean spirited last year).
    3.Bette Midler–I don’t care if she wasn’t in best voice, I still love that woman.
    4.The fact that they didn’t bring back the lame grey-haired hairdresser who thought he looked like Taylor and make him sing in front of Taylor as a surprise.
    5.Clive showing his impending senility by mentioning Jesus Takes the Wheel (I just had the pic in my head of Jesus wrenching the wheel away from Carrie while she is trying to wreck her ex-boyfriends souped up 4-wheel drive).

  44. leejolem Says:

    I keep remembering other highlights of the night:
    1.Sanjaya’s own personal wind machine. If I thought he would have a wind machine on the tour that would seal the deal for me–I would buy a ticket.
    2.The African Children’s choir–the joy they brought to the stage almost cleansed my palette of the Golden Idol awards (did I mention how muched I missed the singing cowboys this year? It seemed sweeter and less mean spirited last year).
    3.Bette Midler–I don’t care if she wasn’t in best voice, I still love that woman.
    4.The fact that they didn’t bring back the lame grey-haired hairdresser who thought he looked like Taylor and make him sing in front of Taylor as a surprise.
    5.Clive showing his impending senility by mentioning Jesus Takes the Wheel (I just had the pic in my head of Jesus wrenching the wheel away from Carrie while she is trying to wreck her ex-boyfriends souped up 4-wheel drive).

    Mr Reality I’m renaming you Mr Really Gets on My Nerves

  45. Theresa Says:

    This quote, regarding Blake and Jordin, is a good reminder of what American Idol is really all about:

    …One of the series’ executive producers, Cecile Frot-Coutaz of FremantleMedia North America Inc., said she’d be happy with either contestant as the new idol.

    “These are some of the most commercial finalists we’ve had since Carrie Underwood,” Frot-Coutaz said. “Either one will make a great winner for the show and the brand. They both have the potential to sell many records.”

  46. Claire Says:

    Slightly OT – weren’t there rumours that Sherman Pore, that lovely old gentleman with the touching story who auditioned, was going to perform? I would have love to have seen that, he had a really nice voice. I’ve watched the Youtube video of his audition a couple of times. It always makes me cry. Gah!

  47. jenfera Says:

    Claire – I saw on MJ’s yesterday that Sherman released a CD and money will go to charity!


  48. leejolem Says:

    Sherman would have been way better than the time they wasted on the yellow feather lady. He has a cd coming out–I’ll probably buy it (??Songs for my Lady Love or something like that).

  49. Claire Says:

    Hey – where’d Mr. Reality go?

  50. bamaborntxbred Says:

    MR. REALITY YOU ARE SO RIGHT! About Gwenie Gwen Gwen! She fo sho was not lip-synching. She’s an amazing, empowering, fantastically stylish woman. I love her and I want to have her baby.

    I also agree with point’s #3 and #5.

  51. Mr. Reality Says:


    I simply will not stand for an attack by a horde of Monkbots. I am merely speaking truth to reality. Here is more:

    1) Theresa’s music throught the years (1997 to present) does not adequately measure artistic growth. TH has only released one poorly received major label album. By your standard presented, my eight-year-old niece is also an evolving artist. She used to bang on a Fisher-Price piano, and now she uses a real Baby Grand.

    2) Green Day was slumming, but their performance and appearance gave the show some artistic heft and musical credibility.

    3) Once again, the crown jewel of the night was GWEN STEFANI, POP SUPERSTAR. Everything else was a flatline on the excitement meter.

  52. Shelley Says:

    Red my lips…or Gwen’s…she totally pulled an Ashlee Simpson.

  53. Jules Says:

    I really feel the same way as Dr. Bob on the African children’s performance. Other than that I’m going to try & focus on the positives.

    LOVED Blake with Doug E. Fresh!!! What a way to start the show!

    Love Gwen & liked her song a lot – had never heard it before & was distracted by my guy coming in with an armful of groceries (meat & beer) so couldn’t tell if she was lip synching or not. Never actually occurred to me that she might & I really hope she doesn’t do that since I’m going to see her in a week & a half & tickets were not cheap!

    Loved the guys with Smokey – actually thought they were better than the girls.

    Loved the wind blowing through Sanjaya’s luxurious locks.

    Paula & Randy dancing during Wind Beneath My Wings – priceless.

    Not having to hear Blake sing that This is My Now crap again – beyond priceless!

    Thought Taylor was the highlight of the show by a long shot!!!!!!

    I guess that’s about it.

  54. Mr. Reality Says:


    I forgot to add that Randy obviously raided Michael Jackson’s closet for this week’s wardrobe. He looked like a complete fool. This should violate whatever morals clause is in his contract.

    Also, I have to add that LaKisha outsang all of the girls last night. With the right material, she could this year’s Daughtry.

    I have designated myself Monkbot’s resident Rosie O’Donnell/Elizabeth Hasselbeck (an obstinant, annoying presence).

  55. double d Says:

    Maybe we ought to get Donald Trump on the line, er blog.

  56. Theresa Says:

    Mr. Reality, it would be up to us to designate you as such. You cannot appoint yourself to that position. It is possible that you will evolve to the position. At this point, be glad we talk to you.

    Green Day wasn’t slumming; that’s what it looks like to sell out. Did you see the smile on Billy Joe’s face when the crowd roared its approval…the American Idol crowd…smile…sellout. He’s become just like a babyboomer, trading principles for money. He just keeps talking the talk and thinks no one will notice. BTW, I like Green Day’s music; I’m not slamming them.

  57. Shelley Says:

    Michael Jackson jokes are not only way too obvious and easy…they are extremely tired and hackneyed.

    At least Rosie has original jokes.

    Ya fired!

  58. jenfera Says:

    A note about Gwennie Gwen Gwen – love her or hate her, (I love her), the “live remote” thing was inappropriate for the big finale. Now, a live remote from Fantasia, rehearsing on the set of the Color Purple would have been perfectly acceptable. Fantasia is an Idol, she belongs there. Anyone else should be there live or foggedaboudit. Otherwise it is nothing but pimping, straight up.

  59. JulieR Says:

    Lisa de Moraes of the Washington Post says that Gwen’s “live remote” was taped weeks ago for “Idol Gives Back”.


  60. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Whether it was taped weeks ago, or should or shouldn’t have been shown in favor of Fantasia….SHE DID NOT LIP SYNCH!

    Here is a youtube video of the performance in which you can see that from the beginning, when she was talking to Ryan, her feed was delayed. So give me a break already. I’ve seen Gwen in concert many times and she always brings it. She’s not afraid to lose a little in vocals in order to give 100% in performance…not unlike someone we all know and love. One time I saw her in concert with No Doubt, she was doing one arm push-ups during the entire length of a song…she barely got winded. The girl is F-I-T.

    She don’t need no stinkin’ lip-synchin’. It ain’t her style.

  61. leejolem Says:

    It didn’t look like Gwen lip-synched to me. I do have some insider scoop on Gwen from back in the. In appx 1992-1993 she was here in Indy with No Doubt. My dh worked at Nordstrom’s. She came in and pulled a Wynona Ryder–she shoplifted a dress. I’m not kidding. No charges were pressed. Guess she’s always loved the fashion.

  62. Brenda (AnotherTaylorFan) Says:

    I’ve been lurking but I’ve got to come out of lurkdom long enough to say… I love this place!

    Here are my few thoughts on the finale last night.

    1. Sanjaya should do a Breck commercial. If you don’t know what Breck is then you are much younger than I am.

    2. The African Children’s Choir: My seven-year-old granddaughter LOVED them. We watched their clip 437 times last night before we shooed her off to bed. She has the dance and the tune down pat. She’s working on the words now. They have replaced Zach and Cody as her idols. They were adorable, energetic, and wonderful ambassadors for their countries (Were they all from the same place in Africa? Anyone??).

    3. I LOVED Smokey Robinson and the guys; slept through the girls and Gladys Knight.

    4. I thought Taylor was wonderful on HK; however, I do think he either forgot his words or ran out of breath just before he started with the harp. The background singer should have stopped singing backups at that point no matter how they practiced it. I think that is why that little part sounded off bad to me. I missed beautiful Melanie.

    5. Taylor’s rendition on the Beatles song was raw and emotional. Perfect.

    6. Other than Taylor, my favorite part of the evening was Blake and Doug E. Fresh.

  63. KimLoree Says:

    I’m just happier than heck that I never have to watch that show again. I could spend the next hour typing my essay of everything I hated about that show….but it’s not worth my time.

    I’ll just agree that the finale should be about the idols, not about being pompous, not about albumn sales, not about people embarrassing themselves, and not about making light of Simon’s bizarre and completely unacceptable behavior and comments.

  64. jenfera Says:

    bama, I am wid you on the no lip-synch thang. I agree that wouldn’t be Gwennie Gwen’s style at all. I guess I just didn’t care at all for the live remote thing. My point was not necessarily that they should have had a remote witih Fantasia, as much as if they are going to do a live remote at all (which I don’t think they should for the finale), there should be a good reason for it. Like, the person they are live remoting to is one of 5 people only – Kelly, Rueben, Fantasia, Carrie or Taylor.

  65. KimLoree Says:

    Oh…and good to see you Shelley. I hope all is well.

  66. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Jen- I think from what JulieR posted, that the “live” feed was actually pre-taped. In which case, I feel kind of ripped off, but not really. Cuz I don’t care, cuz I still enjoyed it.


    I’m glad it’s over so I can focus my energies on So You Think You Can Dance . But, I’ll be right back in front of my tv next January, watching with anticipation and glee. I love AI, for all it’s faults. I really love it.

  67. Jules Says:

    Bama – am excited for SYTYCD also! My boyfriend has been warning me for weeks that he’s not going to watch it with me – FINE! He didn’t last year – why would I think he would now? We’re not joined at the hip. Geesh!

  68. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Yay! I’m not the only one! How much did you love Benji last year? I adored him!

  69. Jules Says:

    WOW – LOVED Benji – I voted for him almost as much as I voted for Taylor!!! I knew he would win but I wasn’t taking any chances!

  70. jenfera Says:

    I won’t be watching SYTYCD, but I am intrigued by this SFTNGAB thing. That could be good. Or awful.

  71. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Jules-Me too! Totally voted my fingers to the bone for Benji-boo!


  72. heyhowyadoin Says:

    wow…..what a perfect recap….it’s exactly what i thought…..

    i will add that i actually got goosebumps during taylor’s beatle song….he’s so friggin fantastic….which leads me to this:

    you said:*But, now, I feel I’ve watched him come full circle and I have nothing but enthusiasm for his next recording project…since he’ll be somewhat untethered by the whole AI shebang.

    amen sistah…..

  73. Hatson Says:

    Mr. Reality……… you need to be here longer to establish residence status! We prefer a little kindness here! That said I was really on Rosie’s side yesterday. Regardless of differing opinions friends stand up for friends. It is a little like we can whine about a family member, but I would defend them with all I have if someone else does. There is a very strict code of ethics governing friendships!(And this site)

  74. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Nobody’s mentioned the “mystical waiter hand” that Taylor busted out during the Beatle song. That right there brought it full circle for me!

  75. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hatson- that theory would work if they were really friends…which they aren’t. It’s fake tv friendship. Or like Shrew would say: they’re “frenemies”.

  76. Theresa Says:

    Bama, wasn’t that the “for your consideration” hand? I can’t get to the GC archives from work (#$%* Websense), but memory tells me we spent quite a bit of time discussing (aka overanalyzing) that gesture and its meaning.

  77. blueberry Says:

    Aw Bama, and I thought they were friends! They said they were… So I really shouldn’t be mad at Elizabeth for not standing up for her friend? What a waste of time and energy yesterday, now I’m mad at Clive, Mr. Reality, Rosie AND Elizabeth. And Gwen for doing the Milli Vanilli thing. I’ve got a whole lot of madness going on here! But I do love Taylor, Shelley and Gray!

  78. Hatson Says:

    Bama, I think Rosie thought they were or she would not have cared. She is used to people trashing her. I think she was hurt and also wanted to slam Fox. They would often talk about getting their kids together on the week-ends. You could be right though..

  79. JulieR Says:

    Speaking of full circle – didn’t Dave White give a name to Taylor ascending/descending the Idol steps? I got a little nostalgic when he did the “Fosse Steps”! lol

  80. jenfera Says:

    SFTNGAB = Search For The Next Great American Band

  81. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Jen- For some reason I thought it was called The Band Show. I’m not kidding. I really thought that. And I thought, “Man, that’s a stupid name for a show!”. I’m much happier with the 7 word nomiker.

    Hatson- I’m not really a View viewer, but from all the media surrounding the show, it seems like they play friends on tv so’s not to offput their audience. I don’t REALLY know though, so I don’t wanna get all into some big debate or nuthin. And, I could say some stuff….actually, a lot of stuff about Rosie….and most of you know, as witnessed by my guyliner rant yesterday, that I can get fired up….so it’s best I keep my big mouth shut on that subject today!

  82. Claire Says:

    But I love it whan Bama gets all a-fired up!!

    Guyliner, guyliner, guyliner…….


  83. Jules Says:

    A friend just e-mailed me this picture 🙂 The wind machine is so powerful it’s blowing the jacket back too. I’d like to find one of him writhing against Joe Perry – that would be hot!


  84. Shelley Says:

    slaps jules with a wet fish for using the words “writhing,” “sanjaya,” “against,” “joe perry,” and “hot” all together.

  85. Claire Says:

    Awww….the wet fish is back.


  86. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Hahahahaaa! Shelley, gurl, you so funny!

  87. leejolem Says:

    Jules, at the risk of receiving a wet fish, I kind of found Sanjaya and his hair and jacket sexy (where are you Dingo when I need you?)

    Bama, I’m with you on the Rosie issue–I had to bite my lip cuz I figured the only direction that could take the thread would be in a downward spiral.

  88. Jules Says:


    Wait – was that halibut? I may want to throw that on the grill later…

  89. Mr. Reality Says:


    1) Special thank you to Bama for schooling the Monkbot remedial students on Gwen Stefani’s sheer brilliance and unparallelled stardom and artistry.

    2) Rosie is vile and a total fraud. I’m on TEAM HASSELBECK! Rosie has incurred the wrath of Republican pundits for several weeks now with her 9/11 conspiracy nonsense. Bill O’Reilly was on her case almost daily, and she knows that any ambiguous statement or negative inference about the troops is the quickest way to media mayhem. She was baiting. And the heat was too strong, so she tried to push the blame on Elizabeth. Basically, she’s a troublemaking headcase. Her views on the war are not completely wrong, but when she pushes the envelope, she does a disservice to the entire movement to reign in this current administration.

    3) TMZ is reporting that Taylor’s reading of the Beatles song was a “special needs performance.”

    4) If I see postings on Monkbot that I deem appropriate, thought provoking, or not altogether idiotic, I will now and then issue a virtual Mr. Reality coin (equivalent to an American dime). When you earn $1 in Mr. Reality coins, you will be added to Mr. Reality’s VIP list to receive immediate notice of his forthcoming blog.

  90. Shelley Says:

    Listen Reality Boy…do your marketing elsewhere.

    You simply can’t come here and trawl for an audience.

    Go here to find your minions.

  91. bamaborntxbred Says:

    SA-Weeeeet! Thanks Mr. Reality. I’m sure if you ever felt the need, you could find plenty of back-dated references to my undying love and faithfulness to all things GWEN, Gavin, Kingston, No Doubt, Harajuku Girls and L.A.M.B.

    I preeshiate U.

    Also, on #2 (heehee, I said #2): WORD.

  92. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Awwww…I LOVE squirrels! They’re so cute!

    (I love that Sex in The City episode where Carrie goes to the kuntry with Aidan and is FREAKED by the squirrel…heh…that’s funny.)

  93. KimLoree Says:

    Monkbot bucks rule over Mr Reality coins….so there.

  94. KimLoree Says:

    OT…Baby Duck, Spect somethin in the mail early next week.

  95. Jules Says:

    OK so there’s no real writhing going on here but still an odd pairing if ever there was one.


    Bama – I actually saw a squirrel on the awning right outside my living room window violating another squirrel. That’s not so cute!!! 😦

  96. Hatson Says:

    Mr. Reality……. When you have donated over 5 million dollars to charity as Rosie has, then those coins will mean something!

  97. jenfera Says:

    I had to do a biology report once on animal behavior. Had to pick an animal and observe them and try to figure out why they did what they did. I picked squirrels. I sat down on the green at my college and fed them sunflower seeds. It was awesome! I had them surrounding me, and I even petted a couple of them. They are super soft. I probably shouldn’t have touched them, but I was a young dumb kid.

    The funny thing is that the big fuzzy tail is pretty much all that keeps them from being really big rats. And man, I hate mice and rats. Give me a spider or a snake any day over a mouse. Eeeeeeeeeeek!!!

  98. Claire Says:

    Ya want squirrels? Ya got squirrels……

  99. baby duck Says:

    jenfera, I’m thinking Sffftt (like a mad cat) – ‘n’ – Gab.

  100. Claire Says:

    Check out GC.com

    Gray, you is messin’ wit ma mind….

    Monkeys? Where are the robots, man, for the love of God?

  101. Claire Says:

    And yes, I DO understand the Shakespeare reference…..

  102. jenfera Says:

    Gray totally stole that from IvoryHut. Who stole it from McSweeney’s.

  103. Squeebee Says:

    Wow…a lot to talk about today! Taylor singing Heaven Knows was pretty good, but the tempo was way faster than he normally does it, and he was pretty obviously out of breath in some parts. The Beatles song was perfect, though.

    Shelley, I agree with you on the African Children’s Choir. Regardless of AI’s reasons for inviting them to perform (self-serving or not), those kids injected real joy into an otherwise bland and plastic show.

    Carrie’s get-up confounded me until the lights went back up and I could see that she was actually wearing jeans and a prom dress. It was to the point where I wasn’t really listening to her because I was so distracted.

    Kelly rawked the joint….I am looking forward to her new album.

    My husband came home part-way through the show, and caught the Beatles medly. He has very little Ai experience, so when Ruben came out, I said, “This guy has a great voice!”. Note to AI…..don’t make Ruben walk and sing at the same time. He really was not good during that portion of the show.

    Surprisingly, (or not?) I have nothing to say about this year’s winner. I guess that happens when one doesn’t watch all season!

  104. AmyMc Says:

    I agree that the African Children’s Choir was the highlight of the evening (other than Taylor).

  105. Squeebee Says:

    Oh, and leejolem:

    “5.Clive showing his impending senility by mentioning Jesus Takes the Wheel (I just had the pic in my head of Jesus wrenching the wheel away from Carrie while she is trying to wreck her ex-boyfriends souped up 4-wheel drive).”

    This made me snort my Coke (the cola, silly!)!

  106. leejolem Says:

    Mr Reality, are you really Dwight Schrute?

    My dh thought Taylor looked mentally challenged while he was singing the Beatles song. He just doesn’t get the Joe Cocker grimaces. Good thing we have 21 years together under our belt, or I might have to kick his Chris D loving butt to the curb.

  107. leejolem Says:

    Squee, thank you so much! It’s the only thing that made the Clive unit speech bearable to me. I think Carrie’s a little scared of Clive’s devotion.

  108. bamaborntxbred Says:

    Gray- Demand #’s 6&7……Hahahahahaahaa! Oh, lawdy mercy, I needed dat!

    “Robot Monkeys….And they are scary. They are ruled by a dark god.”

  109. Squeebee Says:

    Lee….my husband said about Taylor during the Beatles medly,”Why is he singing out of the side of his mouth?” All I could do was shrug.

    And did you notice how after Clive gave Carrie her award, ahe quickly said, “And now let’s get back to why we’re here…..crowning the new American Idol”. She seemed very uncomfortable with the big deal that was made over her.

  110. AmyMc Says:

    Clive creeps me out….maybe he creeps Carrie out too…bleck. I hate that name Clive.

  111. Shelley Says:

    my middle name is clive

  112. blueberry Says:

    “To regulate the art of the wildly flung turd is to rob it of its beauty, and, frankly, diminishes us all.”

    This would apply to many things. I think I just found my new motto!

  113. jenfera Says:

    lee & squee – we need to set up a support group for monkbots with daughtry-fan husbands!

  114. leejolem Says:

    Jenfera, I think he halfway does it to bug me. Squee–exact same thing my hub said.

    Shelley Clive Powers, glad you’re back!

  115. double d Says:

    Did you guys miss the return of the Taylor “gun” during Day in the Life?

    “He blew his mind out in a car”….

  116. double d Says:

    Hmmm…any AI parallels?


    Robot Monkeys

    We must insist that you deploy them only after a monkey falls ill and before his/her live replacement is found. They may be efficient, but they would seem to violate the whole spirit of the project. And they are scary. They are ruled by a dark god.”

  117. leejolem Says:

    Clive and TPTB need to follow the advice about the “wildly flung turd”!

  118. Shelley Says:

    t*rd is the new th*d.

    it’s grossing me out.

    quit it.

  119. justwatchin Says:

    Oh Shelley, your recap was quite enjoyable…..I could almost taste the banana pudding, and truly wish I would have something just as enticing in the fridge to console myself with for having had to endure 1 1/2 hrs of tripe before finally comiing to Taylor’s time…which may I say, I thought was wonderful…even Commodore Jackson was smilin & noddin…….it was captured …the Getty image of Taylor belting out his song and all three of the “judges of life” smiling and enjoying him….as did I…as did I (& about 20 more times this morning replaying it)….

    “….not having expectations in the finale makes it almost impossible to be disappointed in the show”….gotta disagree with ya here tho…I was disappointed in anything non Taylor (that’s fair, right?) and turned off the TV right after Taylor, and before the Big announdcement….you are so right here, who actually cared about the outcome?

    I’m so grateful I’ll never have to watch that show again….thanks much for your recap…it was fun!

  120. Theresa K. Says:

    He simply cannot stay off of the internets. He’ll have to face that and find a way.

  121. Brenda (AnotherTaylorFan) Says:

    Double D, I saw the gun but it was his voice about that time that had my full attention.

    Wish I had a witty, smarmy remark worthy of Gray, but sadly I do not. I plan to lurk and enjoy everyone’s else’s responses.

    Shelley, you always seems to do the task so eloquently. I’m green.

  122. musicmatters Says:

    Welcome back Shelley. I hope all is well. I want to go ahead and apologize for my diatribe I’m about to release. So here is goes…

    I cannot believe the nerve those soul deprived, smarmy AI producers have to hold out Taylor’s appearance until near the end of that pile of elephant dung they call a show, just to keep as much viewership as possible. And then to not even introduce him was such outright disrespect.

    And what is the deal with Carrie Underwood? Is she the official mascot of AI? She shows up at every ‘big game’. GAWD I’m sick of her. I guess they have a new industrial strength size robot that can handle some appearances now.

    Loved me some Kelly C. She’s rocking harder than ever and I like a girl with a little junk in the trunk. I wish Taylor and Kelly a speedy getaway from Idol and a do not return pass.

    Green Day and Stefani are complete sellouts and that breaks my heart. I feel like I’m watching some horror movie and the vampires are sucking the life out of heroes.

    I’m just glad season 6 is over. It is such a shame that all the good created by a talented season 5 has been destoyed by the desire to find the next manufactured, bland pop wannabe. I’ll leave it to the tv pundits to discuss why Idol’s ratings tanked this year. It really is no mystery.

    And my two cents about Rosie and Elisabeth. Didn’t Rosie mention she was menopausal and Elisabeth is pregnant. Hmmm. There’s enough hormonal rages building up between them I’m surprised there was no bloodshed. 🙂

  123. double d Says:

    Shelley — maybe it would be safer to ban all words starting with a “t” and ending with a “d”.

    toad….told….well, you get the picture.

  124. Shelley Says:

    maybe i should… lol
    honestly though…i can handle one or two mentions…but mulitple reads of words like that really get under my skin.

    it seems once one person says something…it’s repeated umpteen times.

    but then again…i’m having a bad week…so i’m a bit grumpy.

  125. Dingo Says:

    I had ta drag this thing all the way from the other section.

    Dingo Says:

    May 24th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
    The finale was fair at best and if i compare it to Prince last year, it really stunk up the joint. No surprise that Taylor got no intro at all and Clive droned on and on about having a good song with good songwriters blah blah blah. Helloooooo, you let Carrie do what she does best and you got a bonafide star. You cornered Taylor into this plastic cookie cutter and you got a CD thats good for playing frisbee and not much else. Come on Clive, this aint rocket science.

    Tony Bennet was fabulous, Kelly was great (love that voice of hers), Taylor was ok but I know he can be better when he doesnt have to sing awful music like HN. He was awesome on The Beatles music and I think that was the best part of the show EXCEPT for…….SANJAYA! Who, IMO, was the ONLY reason to watch this year. You’ll see, the boy can sing AND he’s gorgeous. Still a little green right now but you can see he’s blossoming already and that hair! Those lanky legs! That smile! They ought ta give the boy a huge check cause if not for him I would have tuned out months ago.

    Gladys had her face pulled too tight, Bette was gawd awful and where the hell was Clay?

    I love Daughtry’s “Home”, I cant help it I do.

    On a final note, I was reminded again last night about how freaking GREAT The Beatles are/were. I have been really fortunate to have come of age when they dominated the music world.

    I love you George!

    I aint talkin’ ta taylor till he makes the album ahm waitin’ for. He knows what I mean. Walks away humming “Cant You See”.

    Sanjaya….call me!

  126. leejolem Says:

    Shelley, I would be grumpy too if my middle name were Clive.

    The “t” word is kind of nasty when I think about it. It was just such a great quote I couldn’t resist. Dare I say it’s all Gray’s fault?

  127. leejolem Says:

    Dingo, you need to come to Indy in August and share in the Sanjaya love fest that will be the AI concert at the Indiana State Fair. I hope he brings the wind machine!

  128. Shelley Says:

    i always like to blame things on gray…it makes me happy

  129. Dingo Says:

    Even Sanjaya coiuldnt make me buy tickets to an Idol concert BUT….. IF I were to go, it would be ONLY for Sanjaya.

  130. double d Says:

    Wind machine…that had me ROTFLMBOAO!

    “Girl….you really got me….you really got me”

    heh. heh. heh.

    SANJAYA — Call Dingeaux. DO NOT, however call me. Ever.

  131. Hickstyeria Says:

    Double D, now that right there is funny, I don’t care who you are!

  132. Dingo Says:

    DD come on! That little toy boy is so full of himself how can you NOT love him?

    OMH when he screams on You Really Got Me I squeal!

    Yeah yeah yeah, I know I have issues but damn, the boy HAS ME!

    Just let me run my old lady fingers through that absolutely gorgeous hair just freakin’ ONCE!

    Dont make me hurt you.

  133. Shelley Says:

    seriously…i’m going to close the comments if the fan girl stuff continues.

    i don’t likes it for taylor…and i really don’t likes it for sanjaya.

    please know this is a family friendly site.

  134. Squeebee Says:

    Lee-the funny thing about the comment Mr. Squee made, is that he is now a big fan of Taylor’s after seeing him in concert! He said last night that he would go see him again in concert. I said, “Well if he ever comes to Vancouver, we will go.” He said, “Well, even in Seattle. I would go to Seattle again to see him.”

  135. Squeebee Says:

    Oh…I guess that was addressed to jenfera. Sawry!

  136. Dingo Says:

    Sorry, I didnt think I said anything out of line.

  137. Mr. Reality Says:


    Reluctantly, I must declare Shelley, Monkbot High Priestess, a fraud and an interloper for suggesting that she will not be there for all of the inane AI goings on in season seven. Everyone here knows that she will be sucked into the soul killing vortex once again.

    People who post agreement will earn one Mr. Reality coin.

  138. baby duck Says:

    It’s a monkbot’s prerogative to change her mind. I think I read that in the by-laws anyhow.

    Shelley, I meant to compliment you earlier on the title of this post. Great way to come back after a couple of days with Gray’s hosting. What a year (and then some) indeed. Oh, yeah, and those mad photoshopping skilz of yours on display. Are we to believe that’s Ryan holding the one lonely little sparkler? LOL

  139. Pamela Says:

    1) Gwen Stefani was NOT even good at lip-synching. She did a bad imitation of a forty-something in a mid-life crisis trying to look like a 5-year old dressed by her evil step-mom.

    2) Kelly Clarkson’s fiery performance of “Never Again” looked too much like she was trying to copy Chris’ stand-there-and-yell-into-the-mic routine. I guess Clive won.

    5) Bette Midler was indeed really awful.

  140. Alison B. Says:

    Shelley, thanks for reinforcing the fan girl stuff guidelines. Especially about Sanjaya.

    I like Kelly but I’m not sure about “Never Again”. One too many angry break-up songs for her. I hope the rest of Kelly’s CD has some brighter spots. Just like I hope Taylor’s next CD has some darker ones (blues that is).

  141. Theresa Says:

    I think that some of those angry songs are about her father. That’s what my daughter says. I agree about too many angry songs; she’s such a talented woman, though.

  142. sideways721 Says:

    Thanks for the recap Shelley!
    I dvr’d AI last night, and the last 12 minutes or so didn’t tape, because the show ran over. So, the last I saw was Blake and Jordin on stage with Ryan and a guy who I think is the guy who counts the votes and then dvr done! Guess I didn’t miss a lot.

    I enjoyed Smokey Robinson and the guys.
    Simon looks nice in a white shirt and jacket.
    I fast forwarded to about 32 minutes left in the show and FINALLY Taylor Hicks!! I thought the band and background singers were off, but Taylor pulled it off. Lots of energy… loved the catwalk moves and the harp.
    He said it, Soul Patrol.

    Loved his voice on the Beatles medley.

    I find Blake very refreshing. Nice guy, relaxed. Enjoyed his performances.

    So, did Jordin cry when she won? Did she cry during her coronation song?
    Were there fireworks, etc. like last year when Taylor won?

    AI winner should have been Melinda.

  143. JaneyLOL Says:


    Did I missed Gray AGAIN!?!?!?

    Geez …

    Well as a deafie.. I will say this – there was DEFINITELY LIPSYNC going on that show LOL

    Sadly, Taylor is one of the hardest peep to lipread when he tawks….but when he sings – I dont get the words but I do get the music LOL

    Oh wells – I aint that special LOL


    ~JaneyLOL (certifiable lipreader when needed LOL)

  144. Theresa Says:

    Earlier today I referenced the “for your consideration” hand gesture that Taylor used last night and last spring. I found the original source. It was from Dave White in of what I think was the final competition show.

    …The monkey is dancing and rockin’ the party. Because that’s what he does. He’s hunchy and leg-knocky as usual. He twirls the mic stand. He begins to accidentally strangle himself with his mic wire. He doesn’t care. People are jumping into the aisles to BE ON TV! OMG I GOT ON CAMERA AT IDOL! He dances past the whitest Fox sales department executive ever and the whitest Fox sales department executive ever’s family and leaps onto the stage. He gets crotch-level with the onstage guitar guy but fails to do the glam rock move of licking the strings. I’m blanking on who did that most famously but you know what I mean. And if you don’t then I can’t help you. Go watch Velvet Goldmine or Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars. Hicks goes all spinny before the big finish and then slams it down shut. People go apesh*t. It’s a happiness convention.

    The other weird but great thing is Hicks’s body language at the end of the song, where he sings the words “In the Ghetto�? one final time and holds out his upturned palm like a mystical waiter saying, “Ladies and gentlemen…I offer you…for your consideration…The Ghetto…

    Now, THAT was a show, folks. This year wasn’t much of anything.

  145. Theresa Says:

    Will this fix it?

  146. Quossum Says:

    Hey, Shelley, good to have you back!

    My gripe with the finale was its bizarre mood changes. They had us careening wildly from cutesiness to seriousness, with transitions so abrupt as to leave us slightly uncomfortable at times.

    The Golden Idols were funny last year, but a little too mean-spirited and drawn-out this year.

    I think the finalists got shafted in exchange for propping up the careers of ‘way too many others who had nothing to do with AI. I liked last year’s format much better, with the duets between various stars and various contestants.

    I thought Taylor seemed like a man–dare I say it?–a bit out of his element. I *love* the “Heaven Knows” song and I *love* that he played harp during it, but I did think he sounded a bit breathless. The man needs a band that acts on his cues and “feels” him; he got ‘way too used to that during his tour! 😉

    For any of you Blake-lovers out there, try this site:


    Very nicely organized, well-run site with tons of downloads, including a lot of pre-AI stuff. Yes, the Doug E. Fresh “duet” is there (a highlight of the night!). You have to register, but it’s well worth it if you like Blake.

    Will we ever know what he whispered to Jordin just before the results?


  147. Dr. Bob Says:

    Thanks all for a very nice read after an extremely trying day. An ounce of silliness is worth a pound of cheer.

  148. Mall Rabbit Says:

    I just finished catching up on all the AI recaps. Nice to read GC comments while he was minding the blog.

    If I had to pick one word to describe Season 6, it would be “rude.” I can’t believe they brought back the inappropriate Bush Baby story. Quote of the night, “Gee, if this hadn’t happened [Simon calling me a Bush Baby], I wouldn’t be where I am today.” They need to ban the Golden Idol awards. It just perpetuates the rudeness contrived in the cleverly edited audition episodes.

    The show is so much more about self-promotion than ever before evidenced by all the artists who came slumming this season. Oh well. It was just ‘awight and I swear I won’t watch next year.

  149. ruhappytoseeme Says:

    Welcome back Shelly! I agree with most stuff posted here, especially Clive ughhh, he really had me and my whole family a little ticked off (ok a LOT) I bet Chris was beaming wherever he was tho . Ya know, (hopefully I dont get hit with a stinky fish or anything) I actually like chris`s songs and hate myself for it lol I dont like him near as much as Taylor, but I like creed and nickleback and to me Chris`s 2 songs (thats all ive heard from his cd) remind me of those 2 bands, to me they are all interchanglable. But I dont like all the attention he has gotten while our soul man keeps getting dissed.
    as for bette I thought she was a bit off key or something, but if you watch her face and hands its like shes singing to God (completely forgetting shes on stage at times) and the song is perfect for what it seems she is doing (if you believe in God) Ive always loved her, in movies and so I didnt mind her singing even if it wasnt her best. I saw randy either singing or whispering sweet nothings in paulas ear while dancing with her lol that was cute. I knew about greenday before the show, I have randy (or someone whos pretending to be randy, but has inside stuff) on my myspace and in his blog in the afternoon he told everyone (after saying watch ai tonight lol) that they were going to have Brittney spears on the show but she got all weird on them so thats not happening, then he went on to say they were working out a deal to have greenday on… at the time he wasnt 100% sure but thats what he knew so sadly I wasnt suprised at all.
    I thought the guys medley was good (wich suprised me cause I truely believed this was the girls year, well it was mostly) even sanjaya (in the medley) was good :O I was sad when melinda sang because she was the winner to me and well she didnt win. I loved seeing taylor but agree I miss his band. Loved the harmonica playing woooo (just found out hes gonna be a a state fair here this september… any guesses where ill be??? LOL)
    any way the show was not near as good as last year, left me feeling empty in the end. I do like their finales because they are fun, but this one just left me sad… not sure about watching next year… oh yea, I liked Carries singing, dont much care for Kellys new song, might grow on me, but I dont think so. and thats all I remember … I could recite last years season finale word for word… sighsssss

  150. ruhappytoseeme Says:

    ummm Im sorry I saw the w word, hopefully im forgiven, not a fangirl, not a fangirl, am a monkbot (repeat 10 times YIKES LOL)

  151. taywatch Says:

    “Will we ever know what he whispered to Jordin just before the results?”

    Yes, he was asked on an interview today and I read that he whispered if he won, would she please sing the coronation song with him.

  152. Soultrain Says:

    Personally, I was just glad to get the finale over so that we can forget this year. ZZZZZZZZZ. I do agree on Blake though. He was my fave and I think the guy is very talented. I still miss your play by plays of last year, Shell. Those were good times.
    Now, pass the nanner puddin!!!!

  153. Hickstyeria Says:

    So an article about Idol asks if the show has finally jumped the shark? (See Yahoo Canada today). The reviewer reckons the moment he knew it had was when Taylor sang ‘Day In The Life’ and ‘skipped across the stage’? Anyone remember that because I don’t! It jumped the shark at the ‘bush baby’ reference I think and the Golden Idol Awards inception. How mean to blame Taylor. Normally I don’t get too fussed when something mean is said because I know Taylor accepts the good and bad but this was especially mean-spirited in my view.


  154. Mos Eisley Says:

    “The other weird but great thing is Hicks’s body language at the end of the song, where he sings the words “In the Ghetto�? one final time and holds out his upturned palm like a mystical waiter saying, “Ladies and gentlemen…I offer you…for your consideration…The Ghetto…

    Now, THAT was a show, folks. This year wasn’t much of anything.”

    Theresa- this is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. I’ll need to read more Dave White. I too have found Taylor’s hand gestures very curious.

  155. Mall Rabbit Says:

    I’ve read a number comments around and about the web regarding Taylor’s facial expressions and body movements. My dad was a bass singer in a Southern Gospel Quartet for the duration of my elementary school years (pretty much the entire 70’s). Talk about some frightening facial expressions. I grew up with the “bass singer mug” as I learned to call it. I saw it on other bass singers too. I figured it was a combination of feeling the emotion of the lyrics and going for the low notes. Mostly emotions I guess. Anyhow, watching Taylor is just the norm for me. A great show — a little charismatic — a little Elvis — a little Van — a move that reminds me of Mick Jagger…..

  156. Mall Rabbit Says:

    Oh — and I love Mo Eisley’s empression of the mystical waiter. That is hilarious…..

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